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Is this a wild romance or am I fooling myself? Should I go meet this man or take a pass? Help!

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 March 2016) 4 Answers - (Newest, 28 March 2016)
A female United States age 41-50, *assister writes:

Hi everyone I know at my age I probably have experienced or seen almost everything regarding the relationship between man and woman, but I'm stumped to the point of distraction. So, maybe a bit of discussion and your help?

I am in my forties, divorced, independent, and I like to keep things light. I am a new empty-nester.

Eight months ago I met a man in a check-in line at a hotel. I thoroughly enjoyed meeting him, and his body language was so fluid I knew he liked me also. Everything about his body language was appealing to the point that now I remember his vibe more than what he looks like. I felt energized around him, and I got this picture in my mind of two chipmunks, acorns in paws, in a corner, watching all the other chipmunks and laughing.

He started waiting for me every morning at the entrance to the conference center. I always acknowledged and smiled, then slowed down, but he never moved more than three steps in my direction, so I kept walking. I felt confused. I walked three feet past him and said "hi" and he smiled and kept walking. I figured that was it.

A emergency came up and I had to return home on the East Coast. This man lives on the West Coast. Yet I could not stop thinking about him. Broke up long term relationship. Started another short term soon thereafter. Ended that a week before this trip.

Went to a different city for another conference (I work in the industry.) Went into the hotel store and paid $15 bucks for a small package of benydryl. Cursed the fact I did not walk down the street to a pharmacy, but then I heard a familiar voice. I stood up, turned around, and there was this guy with the great vibes! We greet each other loudly and warmly, and talk for twenty minutes.

He wanted to know all about me! He wanted to know why I had left early those months ago, if I was ok, if everything was alright now. So, I tell him the story and he gives me a big hug, which I return. I feel like we are chipmunks again and no time has passed.

I leave because I had to. I go to this party a couple of hours later and he shows up. He watches me, but we don't talk. We both came with different people. Still, I'm not thinking anything.

We saw each other several times the last day and he hugged me twice more, which was really nice. The last time he rested his head on mine. I went down to the bar at 9 to eat and wait to leave for the airport in a few hours. He's down there with friends. I heard one of his friends say, "There she is." So, I think they had been talking about me at some point.

He jumps up and starts running here and there, talking to that person then another, all within six or seven feet of me. Stands looking in my direction, but won't make eye contact. I become frustrated and irritated and throw him a couple of angry looks and then distance. I don't normally act that way, but it began to feel like a game of point - counter point.

We finally enter into a conversation, but it is at a round table with five other people, and he planted himself opposite me. It was a good conversation covering our families, where we are each at in life (including availability), the cost of groceries, politics.

He has to leave to catch a flight. He gets up to leave (Oddly we have never said "goodbye to each other.). Then something popped out of my mouth that surprised me. I said, "I will probably never see you again." I meant to finish with how nice it was to meet him, etc.

He had been walking away, but he whirled around and looked at me with this beaming face, and firmly said, "Yes you will see me again (pause) at the so-and-so meeting in three weeks. Then he left. My jaw was on the floor. Then something inside me kinda clicked a bit, and I discovered I really liked this man. I mean, really like.

So, what was that? Am I living a fool's dream? Should I go meet him?

View related questions: broke up, divorce

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A female reader, Sassister United States +, writes (28 March 2016):

Sassister is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I forgot to mention he is divorced and that I will have my own room if I go meet him. I view this trip as checking out the landscape, so to speak. And yeah, no phone numbers exchanged because I didn't realize I like him until he left. It's like in that final exchange something changed between us. Such a weird feeling. It's like, "Oh my God. This guy trips every trigger!" Never experienced that before. My apologies is this shows up a couple of times.

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A female reader, Sassister United States +, writes (28 March 2016):

Sassister is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for your thoughts. I guess I forgot to mention that he is divorced, and I forgot to say I'd have my own room if I went to meet him. I view this as a "getting to know you" trip.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2016):

Having run into this type of situation myself before, his weird behavior does indicate that he could be married. When and if you run into him again why don't you initiate a conversation with him and ask if he would like to get together for coffee or a drink after meetings and such are over for the day. At that point you could straight out ask him if he is married.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (27 March 2016):

Honeypie agony auntIs he single?

That would be my first question. You said you talked family, so you know whether he has a wife or not, but you don't mention it in your story.

If he is married, then no I wouldn't met him on purpose. If I run into him I'd have friendly chats, but no more then that.

If he is single, I'm not really sure the little meeting you have had warrants a "meet-up" that isn't around a conference. I mean you two haven't even exchanged numbers.

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