A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I lately found out that my boyfriend of 4 years has been cheating on me for a whole year with many other girls. When the truth came out, he asked me not to leave him and pleaded for 3 months to take him back and bought me many gifts to win my love and did as I said. There was a point in time in our 3rd year together (before I came to know he was cheating) where we had broken up and I had a rebound with another guy. But I got back with my boyfriend and the rebound guy was cool with it. I didn't tell my boyfriend about my rebound at first as I felt unanswerable to him for something I did when I was single. Now my boyfriend considers this rebound as cheating as there is no proof to prove it was only a rebound and now cheating! What do I do? Should I break up?
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female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (27 August 2011):
 Hi,
First of all, I want to let you know that you haven't done anything wrong and it was not cheating. It happened during a break up period of time, at that time you were free woman.
If you should break up over your boyfriend reaction, only you can answer that. But, the truth is that I am surprise by his behavior. In my opinion, he has no right to get mad at you, specially after what he has done to you over 1 year period of time. What he did to you for one year was wrong. He did cheat on you because you both were together, but you never cheat on him.
Just know you are right and he's wrong. Hope this helps and hope you make the right decision
Good luck!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2011): As for not telling him about the other guy - You generally have the right to keep your secrets about what you did during that time.
HOWEVER:
He has the right to know whenever you have introduced any new STI risk to him. For that reason, Your BF had the right to know that you might have slept with at least one other person at least one time during that break.
As for the question of who is cheating - you are right and he is wrong. You didn't cheat on him, he cheated on you. He should be the one apologizing to you.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (27 August 2011):
 If you're happy being on an emotional roller coaster with a cheating dog... then stay with him. If you seek a relatively normal life... spent with a guy who ISN'T a cheating dog... then dump him and find a NICE boyfriend.
Good luck....
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