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Is this a positive sign or is she just being nice?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Health, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 October 2017) 9 Answers - (Newest, 7 October 2017)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My ex broke up with me a couple of weeks ago. I had been working on the things she didnt like about me and I sent her an email updating her on how I have been changing i.e getting better and that I love her and hopefully in future we might cross paths.

She replied within 10 mins as below:

I am SOOOOOOO HAPPY to hear that you are regaining self love and finding happiness from within. I love and care for you and I always will want the best for you. You do deserve to be happy and live an amazing life. I am happy that I could help you on this journey.

Do i take this as a positive sign or the fact that she is just being nice?

If its a positive sign, what should I do next?

I really love her, I have separation anxiety issues and I am working on improving them.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2017):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for all your answers, just wanted to give an update. We got back together!

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (6 October 2017):

Dionee' agony auntShe is sending her good wishes your way. It's very nice of her actually. That's not to say that she wants to get back with you, she just wants the best for you regardless of how things went.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (5 October 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntDon't work on yourself for her, do it for you. It sounds like she is being supportive but I don't think by looking at that she wants to get back together in the future.

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (5 October 2017):

mystiquek agony auntGood for you that you are working on improving yourself. Everyone needs to grow. I believe your ex girlfriend cares about you, wishes you well and wants you to be happy BUT..I think it ends there. This is a case where you would be best to take her words at face value, but don't read between the lines. I'm sorry but don't look for something that isn't there..save yourself some hurt. Good luck on your journey!

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (5 October 2017):

CindyCares agony aunt She is being nice. She does not want you to hurt because of the break up more than it's strictly necessary , and she is being gentle and supportive ,to help you move on.

Notwithstanding her kind words, this is clearly a

" farewell, have a good life " kind of message. Do yourself a favour and do not try to read it through the lenses of wishful thinking; use all the emotional energies you'd waste in trying to hold on, to cling to her... in the opposite direction, i.e. in moving forward and embracing what's to come with confidence, trust and positive expectations.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2017):

I think she's wishing you well, and on your way.

You can't change over-night. You can ask for forgiveness; but you should also accept her text as a farewell message. Don't contact her anymore. Pleading will frustrate you, and that could lead to anger.

If you are diagnosed with an anxiety-disorder; then take your medication, and setup an appointment with your therapist.

Loving her isn't enough to make her stay. It was how you treated her when she was there with you. Fixing yourself may take a long time. She wishes you well, so take that for what it's worth, and try to move on.

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A male reader, Been there Now over it United States +, writes (5 October 2017):

She didn't like having to break up with you and obviously wishes you well. However, she did break up with you. If she wanted things to resume she would have given you some hint in that regard, which she hasn't. I wouldn't contact her again unless she contacts you first. If she does contact you and suggests lunch or some other face-to-face contact, then you're in. Otherwise, keep your dignity.

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (5 October 2017):

BrownWolf agony auntNEVER GOOD BACKWARDS!!!

Going back to an ex is like throwing up, and going back to eat it.

The right woman for you, is never in your past...always in the future. If you hold on to your ex, then that leaves no room for the right woman.

Your ex gave you things to work, and you did to better yourself. These things you learned are not for her anymore, it is for the future women. You were bad with a woman BACK then, so you could be a better man in the future.

You learn and moved onward...not backward.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (5 October 2017):

Honeypie agony auntShe is being nice and trying to be supportive. I don't think she is trying to re-kindle anything here.

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