A
female
age
22-25,
raynbopyde637
writes:So, I was just thinking about my relationship of 2 and a half years that just ended about two months ago. Well there was a problem with one of my ex friends.. I have written about it in here before so read if you like. Well I honestly felt deeply that she had left me for her "who was in a relationship at the time" and if not to be with her, it was because of the attention. My ex moved with the exfriend and her at the time partner and what do you know... my ex gets kicked out after a month for being too firty with my exfriend, but my exfriend didn't kick her out but her girlfriend did! Anyhow my exfriend's girlfriend (Jess) would come talk to me all the time crying about the problems and how her girlfriend and my exgirl were so close and flirty being disrespectful. To make a long story a little short, Jess and I became really good friends, we hang out all the time with our mutual friends... kind of like a support system but lately things have been guiding toward a little more than friends. I have already stated I'm not ready for a new relationship yet and so has she but we are I guess (just a little more than friends). She's not with my exfriend anymore... so.. now for the question... Is this a bad idea? Getting too close with Jess? Letting our friendship be a little more?Let me know what you guys think... A part of me wants to... but apart of me is like what am I getting myself into!!! -kim
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female
reader, MeowMix86 +, writes (10 August 2007):
 To me, it definately seems that she is feeling you a bit more than you talked about. And if it has only been a week and a half since her breakup...thats not a good thing.Perhaps she feels that if she jumps into another relationship, it will make her feel better. But we all know that being anyones rebound is bullshit. She must cope with her breakup the way you did and still are. Although it is painful it is absolutely necessary if you want to move on.
This puts you in a very difficult situation. On one hand, you don't want to hurt her and possible lose her, and on the other, you don't want to rush into this because it could make things ALOT worse for you and her. Maybe she doesn't fully understand why you guys can't get together right now. Take the time to think of the reasons specifically why and what the effects might be if you got together...write 'em down if you have to...then explain to her again. Tell her you feel you are both still moving too fast and there is no hurry because you do want to be with her but can't right now because you are not ready. You can help each other through the heartache and still be good friends without officially being an item. Reassure her that you are not going anywhere. And the friends with benefits thing...that might be crossing the line...its hard not to get feelings involved and it could be giving her the wrong signals. Its always your descision because you know what is best in your heart.
A
female
reader, raynbopyde637 +, writes (9 August 2007):
raynbopyde637 is verified as being by the original poster of the question hey yeah...i feel thats very true..
well jess and i are cool, but now i feel like shes moving a bit fast or letting her feeling/emotions kind of come inbetween us. not n a bad way but, im not ready for that. i mean i like being close friends or friends with/bens. but she does things like (text) me telling me how much she misses me..(drove to my house) to give me a good night kiss! okay, am i being pickey or does that kinda seem like shes feelin me a bit more than we talked about. we both said that we are just there for i guess affection, i did tell her im not ready for a relationship n that i didn know if we should be more because i dint want my feelings to get involved. the lil prob im having is i feel she is! but shes only been broken up with her ex for like a wk n half! im just not sure how to come to her about it. i dont want to hurt her..shes my frn! but sometime i thnk i made a mistake by crossing that line! any suggestions?
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A
female
reader, MeowMix86 +, writes (9 August 2007):
Hello!
I definatly think its too soon to jump into another relationship. Even if you don't feel particularily that you are missing your ex, give yourself sometime for you and for Jess. Its obvious you like her but for the sake of your healing heart, take it slow. If you jumped into a relationship with Jess, there are so many possible outcomes but more likely than not, you two will realize you weren't ready and will become unhappy or end up taking a break. It will be painful for you both and might hurt a chance of happiness the two of you together in the future. So go ahead and remain close with her. Perhaps, hang out and get to know each other better, but don't move too fast. The age old cliche is Fools Rush In. Also, you have your mutual friends to think about...if either of your ex's found out, drama could be brewing! Maybe not on your side but on theres! You will definatly thank yourself for allowing time heal all...and bring you closer to the future.
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