A
female
age
30-35,
*RSMouse
writes:Is there such a thing as trust?I had some things happen growing up that made me cautious of everyone in life. I wouldn't necessarily say I'm a suspicious person now, but all the same, I never really fully 'trust' someone.And now, i'm wondering if there really is such a thing as trust. Or is it just blind faith? Can you ever really know someone wont cheat or wont do something they shouldn't?If there is such a thing as trust, I'm sure it must have to be earnt. But how is it earnt, and how do you know when to stop being cautious or worried?For me personally, and not that I do do this, but to keep tabs on someone, to check they are where they say they are, doing what they say they're doing, checking their phone, emails, as unhealthy as it is, at least in finding nothing, maybe in time, you come to learn there is nothing to find.But I don't want to be that person. I know I let my mind run wild with bad thoughts sometimes. I often have bad dreams that people I trust are betraying me. I wake up knowing its just a dream, but it still leaves me shaken, puts it on my mind. I'd never let my thoughts escape into life, I'd never say anything or confront anyone unless I had proof. I just want to know other peoples views really, on how you learn to trust someone. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): I've been in a relationship where the guy I was dating was cheating behind my back (I found out he was having sex with an older married woman and they ended up having a kid - he denied that too). He kept telling me to trust him, but he kept on seeing her. What broke the camel's back was him being quite excited and he actually called me and asked me what he should get her - lingerie, flowers adn candies, champagne...he was giddy and excited she was getting divorce. I had enough of it and asked him what was going on between the two of them. He got upset with me and told me he no longer wants to see me because I didn't trust him. I told him the fact that he kept me in the dark in regards to her and why in the world would she want any of those things? In fact, why not she speak to her girlfriend? She didn't have one he answered. And so our relationship ended. Because of this, I started not trusting any guy I came into dating. HOwever, the guy I'm seeing now, he knows about my past and is working on getting me to start trusting him. He loves me for me and will do anything in his power to get me to start trusting. He's been patient, compassionate and loving. I am lucky and so can you. It takes a couple of tries finding the right person out there. Yes, there will be guys or gals out there looking for just a ride...you know a buddy they can hang out with and maybe ride on in bed until they find someone else that's much cuter, handsomer, richer, smarter...but you will find someone else who's much better, much more patient, much more loving and much more wiser. He/she will stick by your side and stand by you. Oh..and you have to give yourself the oomph to go out there and risk it. If something to you doesn't feel right, then get out...but when you're ready, go back out there and try again. Of course...be patient. He/she will be out there.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): yes... without it life sucks!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): i have no idea what it feels like to trust someone, they'd probably have to be a wonderful person i guess. i've heard that in statistics, you'll only meet about two people in your life that you can really consider a true friend you can trust completely and they never screw you over. id consider it luck if one of them ended up being a spouse. but i've also been told that the inability to trust is a problem that should be worked on, but i think i'd rather not trust anyone then to feel stupid in the end all the time.
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A
male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (12 December 2010):
 I think maybe I'm naive, but even though most of my girlfriends have cheated on me, I'm still enough of a hopeless romantic that I trust women until they give me a reason not to. I have occasional worries, passing concerns when they talk to other men, but I just figure that if she's going to cheat, I'll find out sooner or later anyway, but if I'm paranoid, I'm going to cost myself relationships even with good girls. But I might be naive. All I know is that I am a trusting sort.
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