A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Do people actually always find someone.....?I'm 28 and am wondering if there really is someone out there for everyone. I have friends and am comfortable enough in a crowd but I just can't seem to meet anyone. Everyone keeps saying to be patient and it'll happen but I don't know if this is actually the case. 28 years is a long time and I'm worried I'll get to the stage where I'll meet someone that will settle for anyone and vice versa which obviously won't be fair on either party.I feel like i've missed/i'm missing out on an important part of life and happiness Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (10 January 2012):
 I am the same age as you, and you sound like a male version of me!
Its difficult to handle sometimes, but it will happen. Faith and patience. Well, that's what I am hoping for anyway! :)
Tiger x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2012): "Do people actually always find someone.....?"
No, no they don't. There isn't someone out there for everyone. Otherwise we wouldn't have spinsters and old bachelors. Some people just never find anyone and mostly because they're either not looking, crazy or worst of all waiting for it to happen.
OP people who say "be patient" are idiots. It's not about patience and waiting, it's about getting. You're not a girl and you're not handsome enough to stand around and let them do the work. I'm not either, so I have to work to get girls. I have to play the game so speak.
Stop hoping, waiting, thinking and wondering and just get it done, join the hunt.
OP how hard is it to go to a club, see an attractive woman, approach, introduce yourself and talk? Because that's literally all you have to do. Do that any time you see an attractive woman and the ones who you laugh with, enjoy a good conversation with; either flirt or get their number.
Yet to meet someone? Are you kidding? I meet hot girls on the bus, in the shop, walking down the street. I once dated a girl who I saw walking down the street towards me, I stopped her and asked her for directions to a place I knew was in the direction she was walking. I ended up walking with her in that direction talking and got her number. This was after I admitted to her what I just did. She thought it took balls to do something like that. I dated her for about 4 months and she wasn't even attracted to me from the beginning, not ideal of course but I must have done something right to get a girl not even attracted to me to date me. What did I do right? I tried, that's all.
It doesn't matter what you look like or how successful you are, girls want a trier.
...............................
A
male
reader, eek +, writes (9 January 2012):
 i feel exactly the same as you. I Hope there is someone out there for everyone as i want someone in my life too.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 January 2012):
 People will find someone if they are available to be found… that means being out and about and while not LOOKING being open and available to new people and experiences… join groups… stretch your wings a bit.
Even at 18 you settle btw… there is ALWAYS compromise in a relationship NO ONE PERSON is PEFECT for anyone ever.
For example , the man I am with now… he’s 38… never married. Never truly in love… we met at a gaming convention and while I was married when we met… I am not now… and I am so FAR from his perfect ideal that it’s not funny.. but he loves me and adores me and I take care of him…. So he accepts my “quirks” that drive him crazy. I love and adore him and he takes care of me so I accept his shortcomings as part and parcel of our relationship…. Someone else might not accept his faults.. they might be too much for someone else…
My grandmother used to say “there is a cover for every pot” meaning yes there is your match out there.
My reply: “well my pot’s a little warped so my cover will be too”… meaning I’m no prize and neither is my match….
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (9 January 2012):
 Yes, but if you sit at home hoping one will drop in your lap, you might get disappointed. :)
Go out be social, get a hobby, take a cooking class... Try new things and maybe you will meet new people.
And never settle, you will regret it.
...............................
A
female
reader, bardia +, writes (9 January 2012):
 I'm 37 in a month. I had my first relationship starting at 35 (first kiss, first everything). Had I been younger, had he truly been ready, we would have been the "ones" for each other. But apparently we're not because we broke up last week. I did "alone" for 35 years--stopped looking for guys, enjoyed my life, and then HE came along. So if he could be so preciously dropped into my lap out of nowhere, I'm sure someone even more suited and ready can. Problem is time. I hear each tick of the clock (and not biological, I could care less if I have kids). It's just waiting for the next one. So yeah, go out there, get involved in life and see who you meet. I'll try to do the same.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 January 2012):
 Everyone can find someone. But you don't want to find someone, you're looking for the more specific One with big O, and THAT one is elusive. That one you might meet and lose. That one you might never meet. Then again you might meet, but discard because it doesn't fit into your personal idea of what you actually need in life. You may picture you want one thing, but then in reality you might need something else... So it is tricky. The difficulty lies in knowing yourself well enough to know what you need versus what you just want. Then again, you might have to "settle" as you call it. I wouldn't ever tell anyone to stay with someone they don't like/love just because they don't want to be alone. That'd be a bad idea. However, you are welcome to give people you normally wouldn't think twice about, a chance. My aunt is almost retired now and she was engaged at one point in her life. I don't know what happened to the fiance. But she has been single now for as long as I can remember, at least 18 years (granted if my memory at 7 is reliable). She told me it is better to not be with anyone than to be with the wrong one. So not to sound pessimistic, but you might not meet that special someone.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2012): Worldwise, I think you are being naive in your advice. Kind, but naive. I know many people who have been open and ready (ie, not desperate), had rewarding lives in terms of good friends, job, hobbies but never met someone special. Some had short-term dating relationships but never met anyone they felt that connection with that they wanted to be with them long-term.
It is nonsense to believe and expect there is always someone for everyone, because there are many hundreds of thousands of people who never end up with a special someone. All you can do is lead your life as best and as enjoyably as you can and HOPE fate throws someone into your path.
Hopefully, at your age, there is still plenty of time. For some us, our special person may have been and gone, been taken away from us through illness or simply never met.
Good luck
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2012): If your open to meeting somebody and know what you want, then yes and why would you be left single forever.
You may be 40 before you meet 'the one' or you might bump into them tomorrow, no guarantees for when.
...............................
|
