New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244961 questions, 1084297 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Is there nothing wrong with this guy?

Tagged as: Age differences, Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 April 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 12 April 2015)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Is there nothing wrong with this guy?

After many men, have to admit, majority of them were not very pleasant experiences with lying, cheating, disrespect, trying to use me solely for sex, ignoring my feelings and putting me through hell, I finally learned my lesson ...and 2 years ago I stopped looking and dating, and at that point stopped having sex.

Of course the last part was quite painfull. I missed it terribly but couldn't make myself to do it again with another man who only wants just that.

During these 2 years is not like I didnt try at all. ocassinaly I gave my phone number, but the familiar behavour resurfaced each time: they called me late at night , on weekdays, telling me about my beauty and their desire. Some were not even making an attempt to have a date with me.

The more time passed the more I gave up hope.

3 weeks ago I went for a girls night out to a little dancing place, and a young guy was looking at me for quite awhile, and then finally at the very end came up to me. He was very cute in a nerdy way, glasses, lots of hair, dressed a bit sloppy. So young, I didnt want to guess his age. I gave him my phone number, forgetting about it immediately.

Too young, probably very horny, and wants an "experienced" older woman.

I went out of town, and this is when he called me. I told him, I will be back In a cople of days. I came back, he calls again. Invites me for a drink. At that moment I realized that I have not had a date for a very long time. I went, just a bit excited. We had a great time for 4 hours. We listen to music, talked, and then kissed for an hour. He didnt insisted on sex, was extremely polite, said, only if you are comfortable, and checked on me if I got home safely.

That night I smiled a lot when I went to sleep.

I was anticipating weekend to see what would happen, keep on reminding myself that he is way too young and not eligible at all to be considered seriously.

Saturday in a morning, he called me asking me out. We went to the movie, he held my hand. We kissed again for a long time. He again checked on me how I got home.

Several dates later, still no sex, he doesn't insist. Next week there was a dinner at his friends house. He invited me. I didnt want to go because of our age difference, still don't know how old he is, may be late 20s, early 30s. His friends were amazing to me, a bit older than him, married couple. Again I had a great time. I thought that night would end in sex, but he said he lives with roommates, and he wants me to be totally relaxed, why don't we go to a hotel on Friday.

I said ok, feeling like Cinderella.

That week there was an annual international music fest were we live, and I knew all hotels would be either sold out or very expensive.

Friday, he picked me up, we went for a light dinner on a water, again had incredible time. Everything was so not rushed, but when we got to the hotel, I was shocked. It was a luxury hotel with a garden, my favorite wine chilled in a room.

Then some little things happen: first, he forgot to get condoms, I had few with me. How do you just not use condoms?? Second, during first time around, he stopped after few minutes, and breathed so heavily that honestly I thought may be he has some heart problems. Then he explained he wants to wait for me first.

Sex was not amazing, but very loving. He is very gentle, considerate and passionate. What I was pretty sure at that time that he is lacking experiencs majorly, like almost a virgin.

We made another date for Sunday, again hotel, I asked to please not to spend this much money, I will be happy with something not as luxurious.

I live with my 18 year old daughter, so I can't bring anyone to the house.

The more I think about this whole thing, I ask myself what is wrong with this guy. He is without a doubt good looking with fit body. May be not the the mucho type, but I am sure many girls and women would find him very good looking. His mannerism and behavor toward me was examplery. He has a very good job, picked me up in Mercedes. He is intelligent, confident, passionate, respectfull, remembers everything I ever told him

Yet at the same time, I have a feeling that his experience with women was very limited. The amazing hotel room, non stop outings, always asking what I want to do, going along with my every wish, it's all seemed so unusual to me like from a ferry tale. Honestly, I never met anyone like him. What is his story, I wonder. Any thoughts ?

View related questions: condom, his ex, horny, money, roommate

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (12 April 2015):

mystiquek agony auntI'm sure the man isn't perfect because no one is but there's a good possibility that he's a nice decent guy. Your past experiences have left you doubting (understandable!) every man. Why not just enjoy the ride for as long as it lasts? He treats you well with dignity and respect and concern. Who cares if he's a little younger and inexperienced? Isnt that rather refreshing to be honest? Don't over think things..if you're happy..enjoy.

<-- Rate this answer

A reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2015):

Can you stop over-thinking it all, and just appreciate him for who he is and how he treats you? Nobody's perfect. Nothing is too good to be true. Enjoy a good thing while it lasts, and know that sometimes after we've had a long rough journey. We meet someone at the end of the road; that takes our hand, and helps us just to forget how bad the journey was getting there. That's called a blessing.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (11 April 2015):

Honeypie agony auntMaybe ask him?

Talk to him, get to know him?

Seems to me that while he seems like a GOOD guy, he is either shy or just not very experienced (which isn't a problem). I would just enjoy it. While he may NOT be your next long term man, he seems to enjoy treating you with kindness and respect.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "Is there nothing wrong with this guy?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.031268300001102!