A
female
age
22-25,
*issbaddie
writes:I think I’m meant to be alone forever. I’m a junior in high school, and No matter what, I cannot find a guy who remotely shows interest in me. I am good-looking (not trying to be stuck-up) but I never talk in school. I go to school everyday without saying one word the whole day. Not even at lunch. That’s fine by me because I learned to be content with no friends but not with a boyfriend. I just wish I had someone who actually liked me and actually wants to be seen with me.At my old school, guys never paid attention to me and did not show interest in me, only to have sex. I felt so bad about myself. I was the only girl who didn’t go to homecoming/prom and the only girl who was never asked and I mean NEVER. Never in my 3 years of high school. At my old school, I was bullied and my ex bestfriend spread rumors about me and ever since then, I was ignored and hated. I learned to be content with no friends since all of my friends betrayed me. Now at my new school, since I barely had friends, I don’t know how to start a conversation with new people. I don’t know how to get close with someone. I was hoping that a guy would try to impress the new girl like in cartoons, but nope lol. I never talk in school and I’m cold because how badly I’ve been treated for no reason. What guy wants a girl like that? They all want the girl who’s hyper 24/7 and never stops talkinf and actually has friends.
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (6 April 2018):
 You're well aware of why you're never approached; because you aren't easily approachable. I always say this; for every girl, there is a guy that secretly adores her. Popular or not. That isn't the point. The thing is that, since you don't talk to anyone or make an effort, people probably just think of you as the loner girl who doesn't want to be bothered.
There are no rules to starting a conversation with somebody. Even in a friendly manner. Maybe complimenting a hairstyle or outfit choice will help give you a way in. People really aren't that difficult to talk to and most people love talking about themselves so a compliment is the best way to do it. The way in which you carry yourself says a lot. Being quiet isn't a crime but showing how uncomfortable, possibly unapproachable and also how you lack confidence, can work against you.
Have you ever heard of 'fake it 'til you make it'? Well, this is what you need to do. Ooze confidence and comfort even if all you want to do is curl up and die. Pretty soon, people will feel comfortable enough to approach you but as I implied earlier; you don't have to wait to be approached because you can start doing the approaching.
Maybe there is even a guy out there right now that likes you but thinks that you will reject him because of how 'to yourself' you are.
The point is for you to become comfortable enough to show people who you really are; a girl who likes having fun as much as the next person does. Maybe then you will get a few friends.
High school isn't all there is to life so try to have as much fun as possible and don't focus too hard on this stuff because you may miss out on life's most precious moments.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (4 April 2018):
 It's not that they want a girl who's hyper and talkative. Girls who are talkative and sociable are easily approachable. Guys find that they do not have to try so hard just to break the ice. Quiet girls can give the impression that they are uptight and discriminating even when you don't try to show that. I won't say you don't know how to be a friend, because you certainly do. You just got betrayed badly and lost trust in humanity. It is a harsh reality growing up knowing there are people who might be jealous of you and want to bully you. You have to go back to that innocence where you just openly trust and care about other people. Don't wait for people to approach you. You may find that talking to children and adults are easier. Practice with them until you come to a point where you can treat all people equally with ease. I do think being comfortable with others is a prerequisite to relationships. First of all you have to be happy with who you are.
When you start with the question who would like me, you fall prey to players, creeps and manipulators who might say things you want to hear. You need a standard and should instead start with, what kind of guys you like. Your personality should not only be defined by what that ex friend did to you. You are still growing and learning about yourself. This is what you should be focused on, and not just trying to seek approval from the opposite sex.
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A
female
reader, Kasandrandros +, writes (4 April 2018):
I've always had the same feeling. You should never feel sad about this thing. I used to be friendless and careless about myself when i was in highschool. All the girl would make fun of me because i was overweight, guys would make fun of me too. I was noticing all thr girls having boyfriends, and im just sitting at the corner with no friends or anything. I was craving that attention, i wanted to know how it feels like to be with someone, to be wanted. At my senior year, i lost alot of weight, and i completely changed my looks, my style, everything about me was different. People wouldn't believe it was me, and i guess i started to gain male attention, however, it didn't go as i expected. Guys were only trying to talk to me just because i look different, guys would want to talk and expect me to have sex with them, i was getting the wrong attention. I realized that they are only looking at me as a sex object, guys your age are crazy and are going through a wild phase. As i started to gain male attention, i started to realize that i deserve more respect than that. You are getting attention sweety, but i think you realize that you don't throw yourself to any hungry guy who goes after sex. Some guys who notice that a girl isn't willing to have sex, they will step back and look for an easy girl, and you shouldn't give him an opportunity to think that you're one of those easy girls. Keep your standards high sweet heart. Im 21 and never had a boyfriend, sometimes i feel sad about it, but then i feel proud that i have never given a guy the chance to treat me badly or just to have fun. You're still young, you have a long life ahead. The true man will look for someone like you. Don't waste your time looking for the perfect man, focus on yourself/goals/family/education and the right person will come sooner or later.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (4 April 2018):
 Oh, OP, I know it sucks, but you haven't even lived to ¼ of your life yet and most of it was as a child - how does that show you'll be alone for the next 60+ years? It doesn't and you know it :)
Also, if you don't talk, you'll never make friends or have a boyfriend. The best way to get a boyfriend is to make friends first. A relationship based on friendship that developed is usually much stronger than others.
Most people want to date someone with friends because it shows they are well-rounded and won't rely on them, as a boyfriend/girlfriend, for all of the social activities/conversations.
You have a romanticised view of relationships, which is normal, but teen relationships are often pointless drama and completely different to the relationships you'll have as an adult. They also don't last very long, 99% of the time.
I was 19 when I had my first boyfriend. One of my cousins was 16, but the others were 19 - 23, including the boys.
There wouldn't be so many people in relationships and marriages, if it was based on whether or not you had a partner as a teenager. Most people regret their teen relationships or feel they were unnecessary. The best time to get a boyfriend is when you're a complete person, with hobbies and a couple of friends, and not focused on finding one.
Learn to stop this way of thinking. Talk a bit in school. Make friends, either in school or outside of it. Stop thinking about getting a boyfriend and be patient :)
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