A
male
age
30-35,
*lysses
writes:I am ill disciplined and have no ambition. I am the source and creator of all my current misery. However, I would like to change myself. I have been able to work myself into a "better" version of myself but my problem now is that I am afraid that it is too late.I'm 24 years old and by the time I graduate it would have taken me 7 years since I began my degree and my gpa and school are nothing of note. Also I'm a kiss-less virgin and my inexperience in relation to my age mates and people younger than me makes me too insecure and afraid to approach women. If I began to make "positive" strides and live for another 24 years, could I reach a point whereby I am a proud and accomplished individual?I want to know if there is a point of know return with regards to personal failures and disappointing lifestyles.
View related questions:
ambition, insecure Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (18 September 2015):
 I think you already know the answer to this, but want some support/confirmation - so here goes.
You CAN do it.
Don't expect everything to happen overnight. To snap your fingers and hey presto! you are now a total success!
Start one place. Like with yourself. If you are a bit of a slob, it's actually not that hard to work in a new routine. Shower, get a good haircut, start working out (being in shape can do a LOT for a person's confidence, not saying you need to try and look like Schwarzenegger or Chris Evans - but getting in shape will add some oomph to your step, some endorphins and better sleep.)
Set some goals. What do you WANT? Is there a job you can see yourself in? That you can work towards getting? Do you need additional training? If so, how can you achieve that?
As for the girls. I think you need to realize that you DO NOT have "virgin" tattooed on your forehead. And that virgin only means no (or little) sexual experience. You are not the only one in that boat. That having sex or having HAD sex doesn't mean you will be successful in relationships. So start small in this area. Like, LEARN to be more comfortable around women first.
Maybe before you focus on women, you should try to hit some personal goals, like travel, learn a new language, run a half marathon, base jump.... (whatever you can dream of doing) - that can also give you some confidence which will help you in life, not just with the ladies, but with jobs too.
Just don't set a timer on everything. You are not an egg waiting to be hard boiled in a pot of warm water, right? If travel is something you have dreamed of doing (let's say you always wanted to see Nepal) then sit down... DO the math. How much would it cost for me to do that? How long would it take me to save up? What do I need in order to realize this dream?
As for self-discipline. It's hard. But it can be done. BEING consistent is the way to go. That I why I suggested you start with getting fit. In order to benefit from a gym membership or joining a hiking club you HAVE to be consistent - if you want to see results. If you can find a way to be disciplined about work out routines it's easy to transfer it over to other parts of your life.
If you look at some of the wealthiest/famous men in history, you will find that many of them... were slow bloomers. Some of the richest people in the world dropped out of college or skipped the step all together.
There is no ONE only way to live your life. It is kind of overwhelming to know that it's really up to you, where you go and what you do. So GET started. No one can do it for you.
A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (17 September 2015):
 The point of no return occurs at the moment of death so thereafter your intent is pointless. This means that, until that time, your life is loaded with points of return. So get passionate about something: environment, church, God, stock market, history, hiking, body building...whatever... then become great at it and provide that service to others. That gives you purpose to your life.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2015): You just need to believe in yourself and if you get a knock admire the way you can pick yourself up again. It does not matter how long it takes you, or when ever your first kiss is, you are unique and special in your own way and have undiscovered talents that you should excite yourself about.Explore parts of your adventurous spirit and set achievable goals that have a genuine appeal to you alone. Let love and romance take care of it self and focus on living your life in the best way you can.Sometimes it's good to feel discontent because it can push us into new territory, complete what you set out to achieve in your own time then make plans for a new beginning. Good Luck and please don't connect yourself to 'time' which appears to be a focal point.7 years to do studyliving another 24 yearsToo lateKissless to ageThe point of no return is when we 'believe' we are going to fail, so we don't even start. Believe in your self, set goals and live your dreams, change what you have to but enjoy life....humour helps.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (17 September 2015):
 It's NEVER "too late..." Get started, now...
Good luck...
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2015): you are totally overstressing about your lack of worth.There you are the master of your own deztiny just digging at yourself for nothing.So what if your still a virgin ..does it matter that much.Its not anyone elses business how much sexual experience you have.You are listing of all the have nots in a very negative way.Can some of tbe have nots be reversed so that you can be thankful you havent totally screwed up. You have not left a string of pregnant women that you cant afford to look after,you have not caused irredeemable bereavement and stress through killing and casual behaviour,you have not met your wife yet, but one day you will.24yrs old is too young to give up.
...............................
|
