A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is there anything wrong being naive?I am 34y old, and I do believe in people. I said naive because things happened to me and my friends and people that i know told me how is this possible...Is not just about guys and dating stuff..is with everything, with my friends, with my family..sometimes i would like just to leave my heart apart of my reason, but on me seems that my heart is first and i am feeling bad cuz i think people see that side of me and take advantage..any advice?thanks. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 February 2013):
 This is a naive question :)
Yes, being naive is wrong, - because it's wrong for YOURSELF. It's really nothing to be proud of , because as sweet,likeable, personable, and endearing it may make you, ultimately it means that you aren't either willing or abe to take proper care of yourself and defend your wellbeing .
You say it yourself,naive people get used and taken advantage of. Naive people buy Brooklin bridges, get mooched off by greedy " friends ", get sexually used and disposed of as a pack of Kleenex, get strung along and exploited in social, romantic, financial situations.
Tbh, I think that after a certain age, and a formative, even necessary number of bad experiences, there's no excuse for being " naive ". Everybody makes mistakes, everybody gets royally screwed off once. Or twice. Or thrice. But at some point you have to learn from your mistakes, you have to understand how did you contribute to your undoing,- when , how and where you have been too fast at following your heart , or believing something just because they told you so, or giving trust before thst trust was earned. At some point you have to learn to temper instincts with reason, to check with your brain before acting on the impulses of your heart. To realize that people might, just might, have a ulterior motives for asking you to do something ; that not all people necessarily tells you the truth ; that before doing something, asking yourself " yes, but... what's in it for me ? Does this benefit me too, or only the other person ? " is not selfishness but simple common sense .
You don't have to become cynical, paranoid or bitter- just remember that you have a heart AND a brain. Check with the second ( and get reliable, truthful, plentiful info ) before blindly jumping to act on what the first says.
A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor  +, writes (16 February 2013):
 Being naive has its advantages and disadvatages. When you're naive you're likely to believe everything, believe in everyone, and/or trust most if not all situations. Which in general makes you a pretty positive, optimistic person. The problem with being naive is that the world is filled with people who are likely to take advantage of someone who's naive. There are people out there that set out to fool you, trick you, or hurt you. The best thing to do is give people the benefit of the doubt...but be aware. Take some precaution with things, and think a bit more carefully before you do something.
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