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Is there a chance that a virgin won't bleed on her first sex?

Tagged as: Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 May 2012) 14 Answers - (Newest, 4 June 2012)
A male Malaysia age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I just had sex with a girl, younger than my age. She claims that she has never done anything like that before and was REALLY innocent on our first try, so do I. I know nothing in making a distinction between the virgin one and the experienced one. But I want to trust her with the way she behaved during the intercourse: she was like wanting to stop me when I was about to thrust in mine, pain manifested on her and I even guided her so that she could walk properly when we left the hotel. I could sense that she was really hurt. I just wonder because no bleeding has occured. Is there a possibility that a virgin won't bleed on her first sex? Or is it always have to be like that and she just played innocent all through out?

I love her so much and I'm willing to accept whatever past she had. I just want to know. I'm too afraid to confront her 'cause she might accuse me of mistrust.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2012):

Its true that not al girls bleed first time. I myself didnt bleed my first time. I am a doctor myself nd my husband himself very intelligent understood this thing nd no problem came between us. But some boys dnt hav knowledge and can trouble the girl fr her nt bleeeding accusing her of not faithful. This is wrong in todays world full of internet and medical science. Some girls dont have a hymen at all and do not bleed. Please guys move on and stop being so backward in modern scientific times.

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A male reader, den05 China +, writes (1 June 2012):

hello dear readers

i do have the same problem, my girlfriend claims to be a virgin but during her fist sex she didnt bleed nor feel some great pains.to be honest she is so naive about sex, in which i trust her. she too is worry abut the situation because she prepared her mind to bleed and have some pains.

and lastly she doesnt enjoy the sex not to talk of attending orgasm. during sex she just lies down like a piece of wood.No reaction .

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I'd like to thank all for your great advice. I'll take it!

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A female reader, chigirl Norway + , writes (28 May 2012):

chigirl agony auntListen.. sex between two people who love each other tends to be good. You enjoyed the blowjob because you love her, and her touching you feels great. She was good at it because she loves you, and likes to bring you pleasure. This is what makes a blowjob good, it's not all about technique. Besides, some people ARE naturally gifted at these things. A blow job is not a very technically difficult thing to do. Everyone who ever ate an ice cream in their life can give a decent blow job.

If you are so worried about this I think you need to TALK to her about it. Tell her that you thought she was so great that you wonder if she's done this before. That you don't have a problem with it if she has, but that you want her and you to be honest and open with each other about these things. That you were under the impression that she had never done anything sexually before.

If she then tells you she was being honest, and she never has done anything sexually before, accept this answer and never ask her about it again. It is not nice of you to question her honesty and loyalty to you. If you have to ask, then ask. Asking is much better than thinking about this by yourself, letting it build up and maybe become a problem. So ask her. But you can not ask twice, and you must trust her. If you do not trust her then you can not have a relationship with her. Without trust, there is no relationship.

But, you have absolutely NO reason to question her honesty. None of what you say is "proof" of her not being a virgin, or proof of her having done this before.

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A female reader, person12345 United States + , writes (28 May 2012):

person12345 agony auntShe can easily learn how to give a great BJ from the internet or from magazines. I was always under the impression that the best thing a girl can be during oral is enthusiastic, so I'd guess the combination of her really wanting to please you, you really caring about her, and the fact that the info is everywhere could do it.

I think you need to stop doubting her. Either you need to trust her or you need to move on. There is no reason to doubt her from what you are saying, so you need to make the decision to trust her and stop obsessing over possible clues. All that matters is what she says happened or didn't happen.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Yes she had a sport, it was basketball. I just wonder because she was able to give me a nice blow job prior to that. Is it possible that this could just be a drive of instinct for her to do that?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2012):

just because she didnt bleed does not make her a non virgin. Your hymen can break from sports, exercise, bike riding, being fingered

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (28 May 2012):

CindyCares agony auntIt's certainly possible, quite a few women do not bleed their first time. Their hymen went broken during non sexual actitivities ( sports, falls,... ) Or, some have what is called a compliant hymen, very elastic, it yelds without tearing. Some women are born without a hymen.

... She could accuse you of mistrust because you ARE being mistrustful. She says something , you don't accept it as the truth and look for ways of getting proof that it really is ,.... this is mistrust- any particular reason why you feel this way with her ?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2012):

I didn't bleed when I lost my virginity.

Trust her.

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A female reader, largentsgirl89 United States +, writes (27 May 2012):

largentsgirl89 agony auntTHere is a good possibility that a girl won't bleed on her first time. I didn't and I know I was a virgin. Lots of sports and what all can tear a hymen or if surgery has been done too.

If she said she is a virgin and you are both in a loving and caring relationship, then why would she lie to you about that?

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A female reader, person12345 United States + , writes (27 May 2012):

person12345 agony auntA lot of girls break their hymens during sports, stretching, falling, riding bikes, etc...

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A female reader, chigirl Norway + , writes (27 May 2012):

chigirl agony auntNot all virgins bleed. You should trust her! It is a not true that all virgins bleed their first time. I didn't bleed my first time either. However, I did bleed another time I had sex, years later, because my boyfriend at the time had a very thick penis. My first time with him was very painful, I had problems walking afterwards, and I bled as well. But I was not a virgin then. So you see, there really is NO way to tell if a woman is a virgin or not, unless she's been to a gynecologist and seen that her hymen is still intact. But, not all women are born with hymens either.

In this case you need to trust your girlfriend. If she loves you she wouldn't lie to you.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (27 May 2012):

Honeypie agony auntYes.

If she was into any kind of sports, rode horses, bikes. Some bleed, some don't.

A woman who isn't a virgin can actually bleed as well. If fingers were inserted and a nail snagged her inner walls.

So you can't say bleeding = virgin.

Either you trust her or you don't.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2012):

If you have to ask us, you do lack trust in her.

Virgins don't always bleed. I didn't. Every girl is different. If she wanted you to stop, you should have stopped. Sex is meant to be pleasurable, between two people who care about each other. If it was hurting you, you would stop too.

Sex is also a two way thing - you shouldn't hurt someone just to have your own pleasure.

In regards to the pain - was she relaxed? Did you have plenty of foreplay? Did you use lube? Everyone gets anxious before their first time, and it's important to be properly prepared for it. Next time, make sure her body is ready before getting down to it

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