A
female
age
36-40,
*venger1234
writes:So heres the deal. im not writing this to have people criticise my situation or anything, I already know its wrong what I'm doing. I'm just looking for someone who may have gone through the same sort of deal.Ive been with my boyfriend 4 years, weve been living together for 3 years. Im 23, hes 22. Last year he went away to work and did not return for 6 months. During this time I felt drawn from him and came overly friendly with a male companion but did not have sex with him. When my boyfriend returned things went back to normal. He had been suspicious of my close relationship with my friend and asked that if anything had happened he did not want to know about it. I respected his wishes.At the end of the winter i met another man from europe whom i seen outside work. We kissed once and had breakfast together but that is as far as it went but we did keep in contact online after he had left.Finally I done the deed and had sex with another man, a very good friend of ours at the worst and was unable to not tell my bf. I told him thinking we would break up, but he had wanted to try and work things out. Because he gave me another chance i felt so unworthy and devoted myself to him fully, unfortantely i think the love is just over between us. I do not want to hurt him but if I loved him would I be seeking all this attention from other men?? Is there something wrong with me?? I am young and not ready for the happiness i feel when i see my spouse to be gone at 23!! Does true love really never fade?? is it possible someone else is out there??
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female
reader, Carrot2000  +, writes (8 December 2009):
 I think you cheat because you want out of this relationship but don't have courage to do it. You are having "exit affairs" to force HIM to end things. Stop avoiding your own feelings: you are no longer happy in this relationship. Your infidelity is hurting him more than if you just broke up with him.
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (8 December 2009):
 Hun, cheating/affair is a symptom of a problem within a relationship...
You bf sounds like he really loves you and wants to keep things together, have you considered relationship counselling??
Only you know in your heart whether you love him or not..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009): Hiya if you really loved him body and soul, you would be loyal and faithful to him and do anything to protect him from hurt. Sleeping with a friend isnt being any of the above. So i dont think you can love him really. Maybe youre used to him, hes safe and familiar and thats why you stay? He sounds a nice guy and i can understad you feeling bad about what you did but wheres it all getting you? Or him? It might be best to end things now. He will be upset of course but its no good prolonging things with him when youre obviously not happy. I hesitate to use the word selfish but it does sound as if you are only with him for security not love.
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