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Is the girl in my class jealous of me?

Tagged as: Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 April 2014) 4 Answers - (Newest, 29 April 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, anonymous writes:

There is a girl in my class who is annoying me. Whenever I'm happy she tries to make me down. And she always tries to call me fat, stupid and ugly and imperfect. Whenever a guy compliments and flirts with me, she acts like she is not listening. And she is just jealous of how my parents affords anything for me while her parents don't. And that girl is kind of fat and .. I don't want to say ugly but yeah. And guys at my class always makes fun of her. Her mom doesn't let her to wear stylish stuff or even buy her a new mobile phone. Is she jealous of my life and me?

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A female reader, Daisy_Daisy United Kingdom +, writes (29 April 2014):

Daisy_Daisy agony auntSo you're both calling each other fat and ugly. It's not nice behaviour from either of you. If you know she has a bit of a tough home life, compared to yours, why not try being nice to her?

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (29 April 2014):

eyeswideopen agony auntNeither one of you sound like a very nice person, you both need to work on that I should think.

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A female reader, YoungButNotNaive South Africa +, writes (29 April 2014):

YoungButNotNaive agony auntI don't know if this is a jealousy issue. It could be, but it sounds more like she thinks you don't like her, so she's name calling and trying to bring you down to "get even". It's immature, yes, but you're in high school, right? I don't expect mature, adult behavior at all times from people your age, for the simple fact you AREN'T adults.

She knows you hear these guys make fun of her, you don't tell them to stop, and on top of that they're flirting with you right in front of her. Do you flirt back? She may ACT like she isn't listening, but she is. She tries to pretend she isn't because she probably thinks you're trying to rub it in her face that guys find you attractive and not her. She probably also thinks you LIKE that they mistreat her. She feels if she acknowledges your presence in any way while the flirting is going on, she's giving you "satisfaction".

I'm not saying this is your fault. However, I'm not saying you're entirely blameless, either. You need to consider how things look from HER perspective. She needs to do the same for YOU. She needs to understand you're not out to get her.

I think you two need to have a discussion if you truly want to resolve this. Don't make it seem like a confrontation, otherwise she'll blow you off. You have to be nice about it. Just ask her if you can talk to her ALONE sometime. She's far more likely to be honest with you if there aren't other people listening in. It takes a lot of the pressure off.

Good luck.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (29 April 2014):

Honeypie agony auntMaybe she just doesn't like you? Just like you don't seem to like her. She could be jealous, but so what?

You come of as a little self-absorbed and materialistic. Which I guess for your age group isn't a huge surprise.

If she calls you fat, ugly and/or stupid, why not just ask her what her problem is? Or just ignore her.

It's not like she is doing anything YOU aren't doing right back at her.

Your attitude is not very nice. You seem to take pleasure in the fact that the guys tease her. MAYBE that is why she lashes out at you?

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