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Is she wrong to begin a relationship with me again when she still has feelings for another?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 December 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 28 December 2010)
A male United States age , *andiajim7 writes:

five years ago I began dating a wonderful woman, after 1-2 months, she dumped me to be with another man. Five years later, she asks me to take her back, we begin a serious realtionship and even talked about marriage. 6 months later she dumps me for the same man 5 years before. She says she still has deep feelings for him.

My question? She is wrong for doing this to me... right? I love this woman more than anything in the world. I'm not thinking clearly, but people I talk to say she is wrong to begin a relationship with me when she hasn't gotten over the other guy. The other guy did approach her to tell her that he quit his wicked ways prior to her breaking up with me.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010):

Yes she is wrong to begin a relationship with you when she has feelings for another man. You guys shouldn't have gotten back together. Love is when you only want your partner and no one else. I can't believe someone would do that. I hope if she wants you back a third time, you will say no. No one should go through that.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (28 December 2010):

dirtball agony auntYeah, she's definitely in the wrong. She'll end up getting hurt by this guy again and come crawling back to you. When she does, kick her ass to the curb!

History repeats itself. Never forget that. She won't change. If you do get with her again, that's on you.

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (28 December 2010):

AuntyEm agony auntSadly you picked and fell in love with an unreliable woman. Feeling love for someone is no guarantee that things will last or are even right in the first place.

She is wrong...no doubt about that and she is using you to fill the 'lonely' gap until the guy she really loves shows up.

This woman has been present in your life for a long time (whether she was with you or him). The length of time tends to dictate how much shit you are prepared to take. If you only met her a month ago and she dumped you twice, you would have no problem saying goodbye...but because the years have rolled by you have been dangling on that string for way too long.

The only way foward is to cut contact, deal with your feelings and move on. Unless you want to stay on the conveyor belt cycle of love/ dump and have her hold your balls in an emotional vice forevermore!! which she will happily do!!

I amreally truly filled with sorrow that this is happening to you. I wish I could magic another beautiful loving woman into your life to ease your pain...but I can't.

I hope you find the strength to tell her to get lost!!

Hugs

Aunty Em xxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010):

Hello,

I personally think that you do not deserve such a woman. If she really loved you then she wouldn't dumped you for a second time. The first time maybe she was just confused but the second time makes me think that she is just playing with you, especially because it was the same man.

If she tries to go back with you, will you take her back?

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