A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, I met this lady on Saturday at my friends club. We had a lot in common and danced together for most of the night. She asked if I wanted a drink and seemed very interested. No psychical contact made on my part nor hers as I think we were both shy perhaps? Anyway I left before her and she came over to me and asked if I wanted her number so I took it and left. The next evening I sent her a message on facebook and she replied and accepted my friend request. The next day she replied straight away to me. We were talking about something and she asked me a question on the topic and I answered about 15 minutes later. It's now the next day and she hasn't replied nor does it seem she read my message even though she updated her facebook status late last night. My message is showing as unread. So I am taking this as if she wasn't that interested so un-friended her just heat of the moment. Now I feel awful and confused. I really like her but I am feeling a bit low that she never responded to my message.
View related questions:
facebook, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 March 2015):
 Sheez, you over-read things. People aren't dogs who jump on command, and they do have lives. It does not all revolve around you. If someone takes time to reply then that doesn't mean anything! It doesn't mean they're playing games, or not interested etc. It just means she was busy doing something else. She didn't even read your message.
But, just as well that you unfriended her. If you expect a girlfriend, or a girl you're just getting to know, to sit on facebook and just wait for your messages, then this one obviously wasn't right for you.
Next time, be patient. Put yourself in their shoes. What if someone unfriended you because of a message you didn't even get the time to read yet? What would you think? If I were her, I'd think you were extremely high maintenance. Who has the time to sit on facebook all day long just so someone overly sensitive wont get offended that they don't read messages and responds within minutes?
However, if you are of the opinion that people are entitled to lives of their own, and shouldn't sit on facebook just waiting for a message from you, then count this one as a learning lesson: don't over react. Stop and think for ten seconds. Ask yourself: does this actually mean anything, or am I reading too much into it?
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (24 March 2015):
 http://www.dearcupid.org/question/could-she-be-interested-in-me-or-is.html
I guess this is you.
I don't think she is interested any more. You un-frineded her because she didn't answer as fast as YOU wanted her to. DO you realize how immature that is? Do you realize she might *gasp* have a life? Someone might have called her and instead of chatting on FB she talked to a friend/family or made her self something to eat drink? Or she didn't want to seem to eager so she stepped away. YOU have no way of knowing, and well with un-friending her you might never know. YOU do understand that HER life doesn't REVOLVE around you? Nor should it.
YOU a very insecure man. AND that is something you need to work on. First she TALK to another guy at a club after having danced with you, and you get huffy and decides to go home. She gives you her number, my guess is because she was a little interested in you. I think it's RARE that a woman just hand out her number to every bloke she talks to in order to network or what not. This wasn't a work convention.
And like WiseOwlE said, you met SATURDAY - this is TUESDAY - WHAT is your hurry? Making friend or a budding relationship doesn't happen overnight, and it certainly doesn't happen if you act like a 13 year dramaqueen.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2015): All is not lost.Don't worry.Send her another message on FB and tell her that you unfriended her by accident. Make a joke out of it. Say you are not very good with the computer and did not mean to. How you feel bad about it and hope she is not offended.Along with this message send her another friend request. And tell her it was nice meeting her and how you hope you can maybe get together again soon.Leave it there. Let her respond in her own time. I have sent people messages on FB and even though they go on it, sometimes they do not read messages right away. More of a chore to read them and then respond than just to browse your newsfeed. I do that too sometimes, depending on my mood or how much time I have. I try not to read the message if I do not have time to respond because the other person can feel slighted if they see you read it but do not respond right away.It would be up to her to respond and accept your friend request.But give it another try if you really liked her.There is always an explanation to behaviour. You can't always assume worst case or take it personally. I have learned this lesson the hard way myself.So go for it but do not keep contacting her if there is no response. If she did like you, she will accept the request again and be receptive to you.Good luck.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2015): What was the hurry for the response? You don't even really know this woman. "Unfriending" her was an act of impatience and meant to insult her for not snapping to it. You met Saturday, and it's only Tuesday!
Write this one off, and move on. Nothing has been established between you anyway. Offering someone a number means only that you'd like to keep in-touch; and there is the possibility of interest. Nothing firm. Unfriending her sent her a red-flag about you.
...............................
|
