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Is she seeking attenton from me or just comfortable?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Crushes, Friends, Health, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 September 2017) 7 Answers - (Newest, 2 October 2017)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, *ncandesantwithrage writes:

We chat a lot. She seems to remember conversations like from two weeks ago, like we had a conversation about buses and she was per your conversation two weeks ago, she'll remember stuff about me things that I do etc

We've known each other for quite a while, about two years! She's recently become single! We're both kinda shy, introverted. So, we talk a lot, either Facebook, or WhatsApp. Which she uses "for fam and stuff" her words.

Recently she told me that we were close friends. She would ask me for advice on her things in her life. Take it on board. She'll send me selfies of her when she's out being busy of her by herself. Occasionally with friends. Mainly by herself though, so I assume she feels comfortable enough to do that with me? She seems to share screenshots of other guy friends that she talks to , either she's like "I'm savage, orrrr "this is hilarious, or vents. She even shares her families screenshot conversations with me. So she trusts me.

I met her recently, like twice. The first time we met, we went for coffee, started chatting. She was amazed at herself on how she felt comfortable talking with me, normally she was her shy awkward self. Just like I can be. She was using eye contact, twirling her hair, a few times. We had a conversation recently that she said used eye contact as a way of flirting to get a lay or a make out. The second time we met, she seemed nervous around me, I paid for her tea cause she didn't have enough for her train.

She sends memes, now when it comes to the selfies, a few times she's been wearing crop tops, asking me if she should upload them to instagram, so I was like no! She told me afterwards that she had changed cause "she was cold" haha. She recently sent a selfie which showed her nipple through her see through top pointing out to me that you could see it. Im not sure if she's trying to get my attention orrrr if she's just feeling comfortable around cause of friendship.

View related questions: facebook, flirt, shy

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2017):

You have to practice taking a chance. Rejection is embarrassing, but it isn't fatal. All she can say is no; but the odds are in your favor, based on her behavior as you have described it. Most guys make their move given much less to go on.

It's time to establish if this is more than just friendship.

Grown-men can't be so shy they can't ask grown-women for a date. If your shyness is crippling; then maybe it's time to seek some counseling to determine why? You don't need experience to date. Teenagers do it.

Nothing is more of a waste of time; than asking for advice you'll never use.

I guess it will just remain friendship; as you grow more and more infatuated. Well, some other guy is going to beat you to it; then you'll be hurt and jealous.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (2 October 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntLogically we see all sorts on this website. She does look like she is seeking attention from you, but she could also be the sort off girl that seeks approval from other men as well over social media. Take things slow and don't expect to much or you may get hurt.

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A male reader, incandesantwithrage United Kingdom +, writes (2 October 2017):

incandesantwithrage is verified as being by the original poster of the question

@aunthonesty - nahh I'm actually a 12 year old typing.... ( sarcasm btw. I've not had much dating experience so logically one can understand why I posted ...

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (2 October 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntAre you really in your 30s? She sounds like a very immature 22 year old.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2017):

@youcsnnotbeserious I know where you coming from but no she’s young but not that young , she’s 22.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (29 September 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntHow old is this girl/lady? Warning bells rang for me when you said "I paid for her tea cause she didn't have enough for her train". Is this a young girl we are talking about?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2017):

Dude, you're 30 or older? Why haven't you taken her out on a date? Enough with this shy nonsense! You're a grown-man!

It just doesn't make sense that two people have been seeing each other for so long; and she's sending selfies and showing nipple, and you still haven't got a clue!!!

She likes you, she trusts you, and this kind of behavior is a little more than just being friends.

I think it's time you ask her out on a real date.

Come on, what have you got to lose?

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