A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi, am wondering, i should keep, talking to this woman, I've been talking to for four years?We met on an online dating sire.We text each other, I've been really romantic with her, we have only met four times not on a date, she is very rich, an retired,i do really like her,but she is so busy, travelling all the time.She keeps saying we will go out some time, we met first for coffee, the other two times, at a bar live band, danced one time.One time she brought a friend, the other time her sister.My question is , is she just using me, because I talk so nice to her?By the way, a guy is living with her, she says they are only friends now.She is beautiful, after four years am I just wasting my time
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 December 2016):
 Yip you are wasting your time. If she was romantically interested then she would not bring others with her. I mean yes she may be busy travelling but she has met you on average once a year, nobody is that busy, if she was interested she would make more off an effort. I think she enjoys talking to you but that is probably all it is am afraid.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2016): I personally believe she has placed you in the friend-zone. She appreciates your companionship, and may date you from time to time.
If over four years she has shown you no romantic affection; you should have figured this out a long time ago. Considering how few times you've actually been together over a 4-year stretch. It seems you may be infatuated with this woman, and she just may be taking advantage of your adoration and attention. You're a convenient chaperone when she needs one.
Here's a clue. People romantically-interested in you don't invite other people on what is supposed to be a date. Has it ever occurred to you to ask this woman if you're only friends? Have you explained to her that you were actually hoping for more?
You have to man-up and communicate with the people you think you have romantic feelings for; so you can confirm if they are on the same page. You have to get some kind of reciprocation of your feelings; or you're just creating things in your own mind. You're avoiding a definitive answer. You'd rather pretend. It's got to stop now.
From your own description it just doesn't seem like anything more than an occasional outing. You've held on out of hope, without ever asking her to define what it is going on between you.
Who would be able to tell you better than she can?
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A
female
reader, Slippers  +, writes (3 December 2016):
Sorry that posted so many times wasn't me
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A
female
reader, Slippers +, writes (3 December 2016):
Are you friends or dating ? There the q's .. I honestly can't see this women saying your dating ..With how thing have worked out so did you agree on friends .. see if you have then be one .. I personally can't abide people who masquerade as a friends whether female/male and really they want more . I think you need to ask what you two are in regard to a relationship .. whether its friends or more .. you then have to decided whether you can be a friend if that's all she wants .. can you ?? Work out what you want ..
Meeting on a dating site doesn't mean your dating .. my friend found friends on her dating site they just didn't click romantical for her .
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A
female
reader, Slippers +, writes (3 December 2016):
Are you friends or dating ? There the q's .. I honestly can't see this women saying your dating ..With how thing have worked out so did you agree on friends .. see if you have then be one .. I personally can't abide people who masquerade as a friends whether female/male and really they want more . I think you need to ask what you two are
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A
female
reader, Slippers +, writes (3 December 2016):
Are you friends or dating ? There the q's .. I honestly can't see this women saying your dating ..With how thing have worked out so did you agree on friends .. see if you have then be one .. I personally can't abide people who masquerade as a friends whether female/male and really they want more . I think you need to ask what you two are
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 December 2016):
 Yes, you are wasting your time. If in 4 years you only met 4 times, half of which she brought another person along, I think it's abundantly clear she is not romantically inclined toward you.
I don't know if I would say that she is intentionally
" using " you- maybe she simply appreciates occasionally your company and conversation, and thinks her behaviour spells out clearly enough what the deal is without having to be too blunt verbally. But if you think that she is stringing you along just to get attention, one more reason to let her go.
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