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Is she a good friend or not?

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 February 2008) 8 Answers - (Newest, 21 May 2008)
A female United States age 16-17, anonymous writes:

Ok..So I have this friend. She is cool, and everything, but she likes to flirt with guys alot, and it was this one guy who she flirted with who disliked me for no reason and she would come to me and tell me all the bad and mean things he would say about me, even when I told her I really didn't want to hear what he said about me. She would come up and say, "He said bla bla and bla and you're a b____ and you're ugly " I rarely even talked to the guy and plus he's the ugly one... I always rooted for her to talk to him, and he came out of nowhere saying hateful things about me, but he likes all my other friends. So..I'm like,"Can you please stop telling me what he's saying because I don't want to hear it." She still tell me what he says and even worse she still flirts with him even though, She says she doesn't like him, and that he is stupid for talking asty things about me but yet low and behold she talks to him, and goes out of her way to flirt with the creep. She even laughed at me and said I have fat fingers..I mean come on she has fat fingers, and a fat wrist! I'm getting sick and tired of her..seriously. I always get the bad friends.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008):

I have a friend like that... I know how you feel... it sucks. And now it seems like al of my othwer friends are going against me too. I have no clue what to do, but maybe it helps you to know you're not alone...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2008):

Honey, you said in your 'thank you' message thing that you feel alone - I'm here for you ok. If you need to talk to anyone, message me, I'm your age too. I know your friends are being horrible to you at the moment, but this will pass, honestly. If you wanna talk, mail me :]

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A male reader, guillaume  United Kingdom + , writes (23 February 2008):

guillaume  agony auntHi,

I agree with all the other posters. She is NO friend. Get rid as soon as you can. She probably wants the guy and doesn't want him to have you. Try to ignore her and hang out with other friends.

best wishes, G.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I just want to say thanks.. I've been telling myself this for a month.. I really wish I had someone to talk to because..All of my other friends don't say nothing back or try to truely get involved. I feel like I'm alone, and all my friends are like distant. One of my friends called me a mean person and inconsiderate and I was like..Hold on..No I'm not. I helped you when this guy broke your heart, and now she coming at me in a mean way. I would never say that to her but she was putting herself up and putting me down. Why do I always get such bad friends..It makes me so depressed.. Oh and for instance today two of my other friends invited me to go somewhere..My one friend was like let's go to the movies, and my other friend asked me to go to the library with her. I agreed with both of them and they said they would call me but neither one did. They left me hanging, and I want to cry. Why are all my friends turning on me? Then I have to see them in school, and act like things are okay.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2008):

She's not a friend, she's just playing with your insecurities and emotions. She's trying to make herself better than you, and you're letting her do this.

Laugh her off the next time she tells you about this guy.

And get yourself away from her, she not cool, she's a user.

She's using you to make her feel 'cool' and she's not!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2008):

Hey there, I agree with hlskitten, less competition. I wouldnt be best friends with someone like this, she is your best friend and shes letting another guy say this about you, HER BEST FRIEND. I would hardly call this best friend materal chick.

If a guy came over talking about my best friend telling me shes ugly or what ever i'd tell him to stop because your my friend not just any friend but your best one you trust.

Chuck her, who needs girls like her in your life?, only other thing i can think of, is shes jealous of you and wants to pull you down and shes loving this while this guy pulls you down as well. This guy , who cares what he thinks anyway his loss and he should that your friend is just a nasty girl

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A female reader, hlskitten United Kingdom + , writes (23 February 2008):

hlskitten agony auntHi

Geez, sounds like a lot of rivalry going on here!

Who cares whos got fat fingers or wrists? It sounds to me like shes just making sure you dont like the guy she likes! Less competition then!

Dont react to her, she will soon get bored. And if he really is that nasty, she will soon find that out about him for herself anyway.

C xxxxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2008):

She's a horrible, mean friend to you and she shouldnt do this to you. I'm sorry to hear you're going through this, it's so unfair on you. Tell her to sort herself out, or it's just not worth putting yourself through all this unnecessary stress and discomfort. Good luck with everything honey.

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