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Is our relationship falling apart?

Tagged as: Faded love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 October 2012) 1 Answers - (Newest, 20 October 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Things have been diff with us it feels like we are moving back. We used to spend a lot of time together always would talk on the phone nd we would always hang out. Now we don't really talk we hang out we watch tv always sports bc that's what he likes nd have sex. But I feel we aren't close to each other anymore we got into a fight a few weeks ago bc I was going to go out with a guy friend who is my ex and he wasn't happy about that so I left my friend nd went to see my boyfriend to work it out he was cheated on before but I've said it a million times I'd never do that to him. I don't want to lose him but I'm giving up on trying to make it work... Plz what should I do is there anything that can be done?Is our relationship falling apart?

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (20 October 2012):

Abella agony auntNeither he nor you have enough activities in your lives. And you and he do not have shared activities that you can do together that you both enjoy other than sex.

That is not enough to sustain a relationship.

Both of you are slipping into a rut out of boredom as there is nothing exciting to look forward to

What you are both doing is marking time watching the electric machine on the wall pump out your free "entertainment"

Going out with an ex-guy friend will not help.

Cheating by either of you will not help.

Glued to the television will not help.

And if you repeat this behaviour in future relationships you will have the same outcome in your future relationships.

Time to introduce some new activities:

Join a gym and attend together

Hire two bicycles and go riding over a National Park in your Bicycles

Collect some recipes and start learning to cook some things together that you've never tried before.

Visit an open-house National Trust for Preservation property in your state.

Find a local Community Project in your community that is eager for more volunteers.

Join Rotary together and do some good in the Community. (This option will help your CV in the future too)

Think of a skill you have always wanted to learn and enroll in a course on this skill

Together both of you start documenting your own respective family trees. familysearch.com and rootsweb.com (both free) and when you finally get stuck consider a paid site like ancestrt.com. Consider doing some volunteer indexing for familysearch.com

Re decorate the bedroom so it becomes more relaxing. and sensual and delightful

Join a yoga class or a zumba class

Get a Wii and play tennis together

Get some travel information on trips abroad and start planning were you would like to take. It may be another 5 or ten years before you can, but at least you can dream together.

resolve to each read a book - he chooses the book you read and he reads the book you chose When you have both finished reading then discuss what you did and did not like about each respective book. Be prepared for the fact that you may not like each other's taste in each other's book choices.

The world is your oyster. Don't waste it by being glued to the idiot-box on the wall. You will drift apart if you do not make more of an effort.

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