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Is oral sex something that most couples actively and regularly practice?

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Question - (22 July 2010) 8 Answers - (Newest, 23 July 2010)
A male France age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hello all.

I'm a 24 year old male, about half a year into my first real (and sexual) relationship with a girl that I love. My question is about oral sex.

We have never done that in our sex life - we have stuck to regular penetrative intercourse and sometimes used our hands and fingers to give each other more pleasure. I would like to try oral sex and she has hinted that she would like that too; but, for some reason, we have never quite done that, perhaps because I feel a little awkward with the idea, especially since I have never given nor received such a service before. I however suspect that she has done this in the past, as she has much more experience with relationships and sex than I do.

Is oral sex something that most couples actively and regularly practice? Or is it something that is primarily done in the world of pornography? I just need to get a feel for how "acceptable" and common it actually is. I don't dare ask my buddies for fear of mockery and, for obvious reasons, this is not the sort of topic that I want to bring up with, say, my mother.

So please, both girls and boys, what are your thoughts?

T

View related questions: oral sex, porn, sex life

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hey guys. Thank's a lot for the info and insight. Seems like it is indeed common practice! Next time, I'll simply go for it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010):

i am in a long term relationship and my girlfriend and i regulary enjoy oral sex mostly in the 69 position its is both pleasurable and satisfying sex would not be complete without it

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (22 July 2010):

CindyCares agony aunt Oral sex is very normal .Nothing to write home about.

It might have been a taboo practice for pre-baby boomers , then again Americans always had a lot of hang-ups about sex :)

The abundance of references to oral sex in ancient Greek and Roman literature ( in general ; not just erotic literature ) tells another story about what was and is "normal " on the other side of the Ocean.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (22 July 2010):

person12345 agony auntIt's a very common practice and as far as I know always has been. It feels great and is a great selfless thing to do for a partner. It's just loads of fun and a great thing to add to foreplay or as a grand finale. It's definitely not limited to porn and hasn't started happening because of porn. Just whatever you do, don't try to imitate oral sex from porn. Oral sex in the real world is about fun and love and pleasure. Oral sex in porn is frequently about power and humiliation. Also, the money shot (cumming on her face) is never acceptable unless she requests it. So don't take your cue from that. But in the real world oral sex can be a great way to please each other and it's just very fun to give your partner that much pleasure! Plus since you're not wrapped up in your own, you can really enjoy watching her, which can be extremely fun.

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A male reader, Odds United States +, writes (22 July 2010):

Odds agony auntOral sex is a regular part of a healthy, fulfilling sex life. Sadly, many couples miss out due to squeemishness, prudery, or poor hygiene. So you're normal, but not ideal.

You shouldn't worry too much about technique. Discovery is part of the fun in your first sexual relationship. You can easily Google some guides, but the main thing is just to go for it.

Next time you are getting intimate, lie her on her back and just go for it. Have some fun, and enjoy it. If the smell is too bad, you'll have to look into her hygiene (and it wouldn't hurt to wash yourself up real nicely first). She should eventually be comfortable reciprocating - maybe even the first time, especially if she's already had some experience. You gotta give to receive.

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A female reader, EbonyBlossom United Kingdom +, writes (22 July 2010):

EbonyBlossom agony auntI can guarantee you it is NOT exclusive to porn - loads of people do it! It's not for everyone though - and everyone has a different sex life with each partner that they have. My ex and I used to have oral sex every weekend - however my current boyfriend and I have only done it a couple of times and we've been together for longer.

If you want to try it, then wait until you're both in the mood, then you could:

-Ask her if she's up for trying it on each other

-Gently rub your penis on her lips as a hint, then if she does, ask her if she wants you to do her.

-Kiss her Vagina and do it when she opens her legs, then ask her very nicely to repay you.

If you find that one of you likes it more than the other, then comprimise - e.g. she'll give you a handjob if you go down on her, you'll finger her if she goes down on you etc.

Have fun =]

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A male reader, daletom United States +, writes (22 July 2010):

My wife and I enjoyed oral sex (to climax) with each other fairly often before we started having intercourse. Since becoming married, our typical lovemaking usually includes cunnilingus (oral sex on her) to climax. She does fellatio (oral sex on me) as part of foreplay about half the time, but almost never to climax.

The reliable research data is mixed. It appears that in the U.S., oral sex has become fairly common over the last generation - perhaps changing all the way from a "taboo" (though not rare) practice among pre-baby boomers, to a general expectation among today's teens.

The "Slate" article "Open-Mouthed Wonder" at http://www.slate.com/id/2192477 summarizes a lot of recent and previous research findings. Studies of Canadian High School (!!) students found that about half had experienced oral sex (see "Oral Sex Practices" at http://www.sexualityandu.ca/teachers/data-4.aspx ).

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2010):

It's common, I dare say most couples do it. No reason why you shouldn't if you both want to.

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