A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Is online sexual innuendo considered cheating?I ask this because earlier i saw my boyfriend and a girl using sexual innuendo and it made me feel very uncomfortable, he said it was just for laughs and it means nothing to him, but im still not very pleased with this. I know i would never use sexual innuendo or flirt with anyone even just online.Should i let this slide since he knows now it bothers me and wont do it again?
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male
reader, coulisfoulis  +, writes (16 May 2008):
I think It's important to set healthy boundaries in a relationship. Especially online, things can escalate quickly.
A
female
reader, Dipsydoodlenoodle  + ♥, writes (12 May 2008):
I am in the exact same boat as you, my boyfriend did this at the beginning of the year.
It is not cheating but it is VERY VERY wrong. Sexual inuendo, did he just imply something or did he actually outright say something? If it was implied maybe then it was a bit of fun, my bf came outright and told the girl "he was horny". If he said it outright then without a doubt he was wrong to have done so.
You just need to have a talk with him and tell him how it has upset you and that you don't think he should be saying/doing these things when he is in a relationship (with you or with anyone in general). You just don't do these things. If he apologises and didn't think about how it would come about from your point of view then you should try to forgive him. I still have not completely forgiven my bf for what he did but I told him that if he seriuosly does care about me, then he wouldn't do these things, you should tell your bf the same.
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A
female
reader, Misti Hdz +, writes (3 May 2008):
 This is a dificult question. Personally no it isn't cheating. I do it, but on the other hand, I would be realy pissed off if I caught my husband doing it. It is something that you do but you don't get caught. If I caught him doing it, I wouldn't consider it cheating, but I would feel like I wasn't giving him enough, or that our sex life was lacking something. And it would bother me in that way, but no I don't think it is cheating as long as the person they are doing it with doesn't live in the same vicinity, or state at least.
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A
female
reader, Susan Strict +, writes (3 May 2008):
 If you're not happy with it then you tell him and if he has the slightest respect for you then he will stop.
Some people do this regularly on the Internet - you only have to read the forums here to see what I mean. Generally it doesn't mean anything, but it depends on the individuals and their partners. It can be pleasant innocent fun, and usually no more than that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008): yes its because if he start now just for laghe as he said by the time. and you deserve the time to be with instead to be with another one even in line
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A
female
reader, Irish49 + ♥, writes (3 May 2008):
 If he's in a serious relationship with you, I think flirting and using sexual innuendo with another female, is wrong. If he knows it bothers you, then I have to assume that you let him know it bothered you, by setting a boundary and he has stopped. Now let this go and start rebuilding the sense of safety and trust you both had. Many people may say "C'mon it was harmless flirting, trust the guy!" I believe that trust in a loving relationship is always earned by consistant, loving, actions, throughout the 'entire' life of a relationship. It's has to be constant. He was doing something to shake that trust and it bothered you. Just because you 'have' trusted him in the past, doesn't mean you continue to sit there and allow him to 'flirt' harmlessly online. There is no such thing as harmless flirting. Flirting sexually with someone else is dangerous...it can lead to bigger things...it can 'blow up' a relationship. Stay strong and if he slips up again, set a hard and fast boundary and if that doesn't work, you will have to re-evaluate his committment to you. Good luck, sweety and take care
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A
male
reader, Andrew83 +, writes (3 May 2008):
 If he said he wouldnt do it again then you could let it slide.
Everyone on here will have a different view than me...
I feel it is cheating, he's doin somethin with someone else and in a r'ship with you so yes i would say he is cheatin in a way. (Thats my view though)
He can easly do that with you so i dont see why he has to do that with someone else but let it slide this time and if it ever happens again, you both sit down and talk about it, how you feel about it and anythin else you feel needs to come out in the open with you both.
I hope in some way this helps and what other aunts say.
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