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Is my roommate pleasuring himself with my clothes?

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 December 2018) 4 Answers - (Newest, 27 December 2018)
A female South Africa age 22-25, anonymous writes:

I have three roommates. Two of them, a man and a woman, are married. He doesn't give me the creeps or weird rape-y looks, and my gut feelings have always been spot-on in the past. However, this time, I think I have physical proof of sexual harassment, but no gut feeling.

Over the past few months, I've noticed something about my laundry that makes me worry. With almost every load, at least one pair of my pants has got a blob of translucent mucous-like goo in the pocket, and one time, it was on the inside of one of my tees.

I shrugged it off at first as being residue liquid detergent that didn't wash out the pockets properly, but then I found a pair of my pants in the dirty pile with the goo in it. I dismissed it again, as being some jerk blowing their nose in my clothes (and only my clothes- the others haven't complained about something similar), but it's looks cleaner than snot, so that didn't fit right, either.

Rather recently, my mind decided to compare it to... well, you know. I'm a virgin so I don't know what it is actually supposed to look like. But I've looked up whether anyone has noticed something mucous-like residue on their laundry, just in case it's the detergent, and come up with nothing.

My clothes are very easy to identify from the other women's clothes, as I'm the only tomboy living there. I'm not sure how to bring this all up to people I know, since I'm not sure the other female roommate of mine won't tell on the husband, and I don't want to blame anyone until I know for sure. I do have a bad habit of being over-cautious so it wouldn't be the first time I freak out for no reason.

So here I am, asking absolute strangers because I know nobody else will give me an answer that's not sugarcoated. Is my roommate masturbating on my clothes? If he is, does it count as cheating on his wife, and/or as sexual harassment towards me? Am I in imminent danger and should move out as fast as possible, or should I just shrug it off as some sort of harmless way for him to vent out his frustration?

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (27 December 2018):

Ciar agony auntObviously we can't know for sure, but it's definitely suspicious.

I would handle it this way: tell others about it, innocently, and ask if they have noticed anything similar with their clothes. Don't speculate about what the substance is (ejaculate, phlegm etc) except to say that it looks like mucous. Ask this in the way you would ask any benign question, such as 'does anyone else find it cold in here lately?".

If it is a biological substance, it lets the guilty party know that you, and now everyone else, is aware of it without actually naming or accusing them. Their shame will be private and they can self correct.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2018):

EEEW! I think you might need to move back home immediately; until you find yourself another place to live. If it has happened more than once; it has to be someone close to you, to be able to get their hands on your clothes.

No one has put their hands on you, that's the more important thing. You shouldn't wait around to find-out who it is; and even if you confronted someone about it, it would be denied.

The best remedy is to move-out. If they are bold and perverted enough to do such a thing; you would be better-off to get out of there! Honestly, you don't want to know who's doing it, and you wouldn't want to have to deal with it!

Don't leave your clothing lying around out in plain-view. Lock your room, and keep an eye on your laundry while they are in the washer or dryer. It has happened more than once, and what you described sounds like ejaculate.

Eew!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2018):

“You know what” has a pretty distinct smell so that would be an easy way to tell..

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (25 December 2018):

Honeypie agony auntI'll try and answer your questions:

"Is my roommate masturbating on my clothes?"

It's possible. I can't know for sure as I'm not there.

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"If he is, does it count as cheating on his wife, and/or as sexual harassment towards me?"

Is he cheating on his wife - no, not really. He is MASTURBATING using your clothes - maybe HERS too...

Is it sexual harassment? Legally? I don't know. BUT in my book it's freaking GROSS and NASTY! My guess is he doesn't KNOW that you might find out.

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"Am I in imminent danger and should move out as fast as possible, or should I just shrug it off as some sort of harmless way for him to vent out his frustration?"

Are you in any danger? Again, impossible to say. I don't think you are there is a FAR stretch from masturbating on/in your clothes to rape or violence - HOWEVER, I would look for a new place ASAP.

I would NOT shrug this off as "harmless" it's NASTY. And UNTIL you move out, I'd keep your clothes IN your room except for when it's in the washer or dryer and have a LOCK on the door.

So in short? I'd find a new place to live. It's kind of hard to confront him as he hasn't been caught in the act and I don't see the police wanting to investigate possible sperm spatter on a woman's clothes.

Last but not least, KEEP being over-cautious. It will hopefully keep you safe.

Merry Christmas.

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