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Is my mother sleeping with my boyfriend?

Tagged as: Sex, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 February 2008) 13 Answers - (Newest, 28 March 2008)
A female Australia age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I’m a little confused. I have been dating this wonderful guy (Greg) for 9 months now. He is 21 I’m 20. I live with my mother and my younger sister ( our father left when we were little – so it’s just us girls). My mother loves my boyfriend to bits and my boyfriend says that if I look like my mother in 20 years he will be the happiest guy in the world. Greg will often pop around of his own accord and have tea with my mother and sister if I'm not there or even when my sister and I play our regular game of tennis on thursday - and he will be waiting for me when we get back ( he says he loves the look of me in my little tennis outfit lol. He is so unlike other guys I have dated, most just want to try it on ( usually on the first date!) and until I met Greg I wondered if I would ever meet a guy who would want to get to know me as a person who has a lot of love to offer the right man not just sex. I am still a virgin as every guy I have dated has turned into an arsehole who only wants me for sex.

My friend Jill says its because I have an hour glass figure ( like my mum! ) and large boobs that I attract creeps. But Greg is different, he didn’t even try and kiss me till we had been out several times and when he did he didn’t try and grope my boobs which till now I thought was something all guys did.

As I said we are both virgins , but there is something really bothering me. Greg respects my decision to remain a virgin for now, but we are very touchy feely and occasionally I will give him a handjob to help relieve himself when we make out.

Just before Christmas, Greg had come around to my place and we were kidding around on the couch, I knocked over a glass of orange juice which spilt down the front of his pants – it was hilarious and he ran to the bathroom but accidentally left the door slightly ajar., Greg had taken his pants off and was washing himself off when my mother, my sister and I were standing laughing at the bathroom door and it swung open to leave him standing there in the buff, my sister and my mother gasped and both turned to me smiled and then walked away giggling. I asked my sister later what she was giggling about, she said that she has never seen a penis that big and did it grow even bigger when erect. I was embarrassed as I didn’t want to talk about my boyfriend’s penis to my sister! I mean come on! My mother said later that evening that I was a very lucky girl. Anyway, believe it or not but Greg’s is the first erect penis I have ever seen, so how do I know if its bigger than most guys or not, I’m not getting a tape measure out .

But something happened just yesterday, my 18 year old sister ( who is not a virgin ) said that her girlfriends from college were comparing notes about who had slept with the largest guy and one of the girls mentioned she had slept with a guy only the week before called Greg and he had a “massive cock” but he turned her down for a repeat performance later as he was worried his “frigid” girlfriend might find out and he was not prepared to waste all that leg work he put in to pop her cherry and besides he was getting all he needed from his girlfriend’s mother who was a size queen. This girl said he was so full of himself and he bragged about how this woman knew how to handle a guy like him unlike college girls he shags and that it made it worth the wait.

Can you see what I’m asking, is this my Greg? I have never heard him brag like this, I just can’t believe it. I have seen Greg check out my mother’s figure but that’s because she has a nice figure – he said at the time no man could not look at that and turn away – it didn’t bother me at the time as people say we are like sisters and we have very similar figures – so of course he will find my mother attractive. I mean I just can’t accept this is my mum and my boyfriend getting up to no good. My mother hasn’t had a date in several months ( guys hit on her all the time and she’s never been short of suitors) but that’s just another coincidence surely? My boyfriend often spends weekends out of town visiting his relatives 30 miles away so I don’t know where he is all the time -but I trust him he is so sweet and caring I have no reason not too, we live in a very large town so it could be anybody right?

View related questions: boobs, both virgins, christmas, hand-job, still a virgin

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008):

Does your mother sometimes go places for hours at a time? Does this happen when your boyfriend Greg is visiting relatives 30 miles away? If so, I think you need to try and follow her next time she leaves. It sounds to me like he indeed might be having sex with your mom. I find it unusual that after seeing Greg's dick, she would tell you that you are a very lucky girl.

So, I think you owe it to yourself to investigate this as much as possible. Then report back and let us know if you were able to confirm your suspicion that your boyfriend is sleeping with your mom.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008):

When you go out to play Tennis and you know he'll likely pop to your mothers simply leave tennis very early and pop home and pretend you forgot something or had enough of tennis for the day. Chances are you might be home in time to catch them at it.

OR

You could purchase a miniature spy camera with wireless handheld video viewer (can be expensive) and set it up in the house and sit and watch what happens.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008):

All of these responses are good, except everyone is leaving out part of the equation: Greg. So, Greg is well hung. Your mom knows. Your sister knows. Neither of them are virgins. Have a nice sit down chat with Greg and tell him you know how hard it must be for him (no pun intended) to not have a sexual relationship with you. Tell him you've known other guys in the past who have waited patiently, but ultimately it's come down to them wanting sex. Also tell him you've talked to your mom about how much your virginity means to you and how the first man you sleep with would have to be really special. Your mom said waiting isn't a bad idea and that she's really proud of you for thinking things through. The point is, if Greg is really sleeping with your mom, this conversation is going to be repeated when you're not around. If he isn't, your just being fed a bunch of lies from a group of girls who share shag stories. If Greg is on the level, your instincts will tell you so. If Greg is sleeping with your mom, he's going to have to do some damage control really fast and you'll know it the minute it happens. Also, if you really want to shake things up, tell your mom you're thinking of breaking it off with Greg because things are moving to fast. See what happens. No relationship with you means no reason for Greg to be hanging out at your house now doesn't it? Watch your mom's reaction to all this and listen to what your gut tells you. Something tells me, if Greg's shagging your mom, and you're the excuse, things are going to get mighty awkward. If Greg isn't shagging your mom, then Greg will have to prove himself, now won't he? Good luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2008):

something smells fishy. find out where your bfs going when he goes to 'visit relatives' and get some secret camera in the house or something, the truth will come out...

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A female reader, gost8 United States +, writes (2 March 2008):

Another question to ask is: Do you trust your mother?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008):

I think a better question might be this: do you think your mother would willingly sleep with your boyfriend, knowing how much you like him? I think she would know full well that if she had sex with your boyfriend, you would be devastated. So, do you have some reason to suspect that she is having sex with Gregg?

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A female reader, Dawnie United Kingdom +, writes (29 February 2008):

Dawnie agony auntWell this could be a coincidence. You live in a big town and Greg is probably a very popular name. However you have doubts and i think you should check this out discreetly. Maybe you could come home early unexpectedly one day from tennis, at the very least it will put your mind at rest.

One thing i will say though is you know your b/f fairly well after 9 months, do you think he is capable of doing something like this? i do think his comment about your mother (No man could look at her and turn away) was a bit of a strange thing to say. Another thing to consider is your sister could have made this up for some reason. I hope this all turns out be nothing to worry about. Let me know how you get on.

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A female reader, Basschick Australia +, writes (29 February 2008):

Basschick agony auntBefore you jump to conclusions, do your homework. When Greg is out of town visiting his family, does your Mother disappear to go shopping, or out to lunch with her friends? During the day when you're at school, what does Greg do with his time? And should you consider popping home more frequently at odd times to see if he's there? My advise to you is say nothing, but start paying attention to things that are going on around you. When Greg is at your house and your Mom is there, does she seem embarrassed when he looks at her, does she act differently? Has she changed her hairstyle or started taking more interest in her appearance? There are usually signs. Once you've done your homework, you'll know if there is any validity to what your sister told you. But I wouldn't let on to her. She's probably dying to make you squirm and the whole story could be a farce. Just keep your eyes and ears open and you'll figure it out soon enough. Good luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2008):

I think you do have to go home unexpectedly and check and I really hope you are wrong. You know nothing until you look deeper.

Your sister could be very jealous or she could be very concerned. Can you remember how she looked when she told you about this? Was she telling you it is your boyfriend? She must know and I think it is very suspicious that she has merely hinted. It must be easily possible or her to confirm with her friend that it is the same boy and I bet she has done.

If she was worried-looking when she said it perhaps she is concerned and wants you to find out for yourself. Maybe she know something about your Mum. Who knows. I don't think what you boyfriend says about your Mum's body is very nice. It is not appropriate. It is possible that there is a nasty situation going on here which could be quite complex. Having your Mum and sister leering over your boyfriend's penis is quite a disgusting thought, it sounds more like some men do. Is your Mum jealous of your youth and do you think she has something to prove?

I hope this is not twisted, just simple. If they are playing these kinds of games it will be very hard not to have you relationship with them affected for always.

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A male reader, polarkite United States +, writes (29 February 2008):

polarkite agony auntIt sounds like your sister is jealous, and is playing games with you. Just relax and trust your feelings. Maybe there is something going on, but it might not be what you expect.

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A male reader, leonard j. Douglas  +, writes (29 February 2008):

Forget asking your mother if there is anything going on between her and your B/F. Mothers lie,so do fathers. Take the time to find out what ,if anything,is going on in your household. You have the right to know before you get deeper involved in the relationship.

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A female reader, Ftuley +, writes (29 February 2008):

Ftuley agony auntIf you do trust him then why are you concerned about it?

There are two ways to find out the civilized way is to ask your mother if is something going on and tell her what your friend said. The dirty way is failing to attend one game of tennis and go home to see if something is going on.

I strongly suggest the first option is the greatest.

However, like you say a large town must have lots of Greg’s.

I hope one way or another you find out that nothing going on and you can be happy with your boyfriend.

All the best!

Fatima

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A male reader, Collaroy Australia +, writes (29 February 2008):

Collaroy agony auntHi,

People who post on here about cheating boyfriends always have one thing in common. They "know" they are cheating, call it a gut feeling or whatever. So I would follow your gut feeling on this, after all why would someone go to that much effort ( 9 months of dating ) purely to take your virginity. Then again for a player it might seem like the ultimate conquest.

This does sound suspicious, despite the amount of girls who post on here saying their partners have large penises it is rare (o.k so my wife has had two large partners out of about 15 lovers so I suppose its not that rare )and to have a young guy with the same name, well hung and bonking an attractive mother seems a bit too much to be purely coincidental.

Perhaps you should tell your mother that you think your boyfriend my be sleeping with an older woman behind his back, see what her reaction is.

Other than confronting them I don't know what to suggest. But, you live in a big town in Australia so most likely a place with over 1 millon people - that's a lot of Gregs and a lot of mums.. so you know, it probably is just a coincidence. Follow your heart and maybe just keep an eye out for anything between your mum and your bf that might suggest more intimacy than is usual. And of course it could also be someone who is jealous of you and your boyfriend spreading rumours - it would be easy to do.

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