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Is my friend being jealous and unreasonable, or did I overstep my bounds

Tagged as: Friends, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 July 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 11 August 2007)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

okay so i have drama in y life. One of my closest friends is mad at me because i slept with a guy that she slept with. Now in the grand scheme of things i know thta it could be wierd to share something like that but heres where im feeling like she a li bit going overbaord! About two years ago when my girl and her ex took a break form each other..she slept with one of her closest male friends. two years fast foward me and the set male friend met while exercisng together with our mutual friend. me and the guy flirt have a lil vibe going on and we all (Including our close friend) end up playing truth or dare..me and the guy end up kissing for a long time and flriting to make along story short. before i knew it me and the guy started talking on the phone and expressed our attraction for each other.. i knew she slept with him before so i wanted to make sure sure she was cool with us talking. I asked her on three separate occasions if she would be fine with us doing whatever and she stated on each time...Im cool , do you. i ask if she like him and she stated a ll bit but it only becasus im going through some stuff with my ex ( her ex and her were trying to get back together but he had a new girl at this time..so she was tying to break them up to get him back) and then to add to it she told me she never lok at him romantically b4 unitl now and she only slept with him to see what else was out there and ..she basically used him and he used her to relieve thier horiness. anyway the guy and i hang out a couple of times ... and we eventually have sex after a month of hanging out.. when she asked if we did anything ..i said we didn't because i wasn't comfortable with he idea yet..but i was goign to tell her once i felt ok ay with situation myslef..because it not like me to sleep around ( i only slept with one other person and that was boyfriend of 2 years who i lost my virginity too..and im 25) so she just stop talking to me no explanation nothing ..the guy moved away but he told me she was upset about us becsaue he told her that we were doing stuff b4 i did. Now she mad at both of us because we still talk on a regular basis because our liking for each other is stronger than we thought and we both feel that if she was up front with both of us this would not have happened. ( he asked her if she like him and she told him no i don't i never liked you) anyway after i sincerely apologized for hurting her feelings she said she forgives me but can't deal with me right now..which i respect. i took repsonsiblity for my action but a part of me feels like she wasn't honest with both of us so she faulting me for doing the same she did. Now shes back with her man and Happy as she states but is holding this grudge for a man who never belong to her anyway..so my question is was i wrong for going after the guy she claim she just boned ( even though they are close friends.very clos) and is my friend acting out due to deception or jealousy

View related questions: a break, flirt, get back together, her ex, jealous, kissing, lost my virginity, my ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks or your response. SO heres the update..my friend and I talked since then and she said she forgives me but she needs time.. understanable....but here is the clincher. she told the guy that she know she decieve us both but she was testing us to see if we were her ture friends. and then she lied to me about a lot of stuff..nothing to drastic but still lies and she fauting me for lying to her..isn't that hypocritcal. and to make matters worst the guy in question is not the one who intiating them haivgn sex and she lied to him about her " situation with her now boyfriend who she been on again off again for 4 years now..at the time when they sleep together ..her and her beau was on a " break but she told him that they wer not going to hook u p with anyone but when she did hook up with her friend ...she lied and said she didn't unitl earlier this year and she still hans't told him the story.. so should i be mad that she tested 23 year fiendship..caus honestly out of the 23 years we've been friends this is the only time i messed up andi admiitted it but she still is acting janky..so should i be as equally as pissed as she

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (10 July 2007):

eddie agony auntThis is a foolish game. She is acting very strange and women often do this. It's some weird rule that women have about ownership for life, of the rights to any guy they looked at twice.

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