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female
,
anonymous
writes: A friend of mine is really getting to me. Although she has been an amazing friend in the past, she has been really unpleasant lately saying things about my family that I don’t like, amongst other things. I have little confidence as it is and I feel that she is chipping away at the little I’ve got left. She always seems to be questioning why I am doing things a certain way if it doesn’t suit her but she doesn’t seem to see it’s my life. She also keeps asking me questions which are sending alarm bells ringing in my head. The other night my family held a party and she asked who the other people at the party were. I told her who the other people were which included some friends of the family and she put on an aggressive tone and said ‘Well, whose friends are they.... your Mum’s, your Dad’s, whose?’ I was rather taken aback by this because of the aggression and the irrelevance of the question. It didn’t matter whose friends they were to my way of thinking - they were friends of my Mum’s but the whole of the family is friends with them. People have told me it’s the green-eyed monster but I don’t understand why she is being like this.She is beginning to really get to me. On social occasions, although I am shy, I really make an effort to get to know people and I include her in conversations but I have been shocked lately at how quickly she can kill a conversation stone dead with her negativity. When I have fun in public she is quick to mock me. She seems to have little in the way of social etiquette and she has been rude to me in public. Most of this unpleasantness has been when no-one else is around but she has also done it in the company of mutual friends of ours.I would confront her but I feel that under this unpleasant facade she would dissolve into floods of tears. The friends who would be most understanding about all of this, and whose advice I would most appreciate, are actually the mutual friends I have just spoken of, but I don’t know whether it is fair to involve them or whether it will make me look as if I am telling tales. However, they would be able to tell me how they see the situation.I guess most people would say she is a toxic character and just drop her as a friend, but I know she has been depressed lately and I want to give her the benefit of the doubt. However, I have had depression in the past; I don’t think depression gives people the right to be rude and unpleasant to people.As far as I know, she is only like this with me, although I have heard her being unpleasant to her partner. I haven’t known her be like this to our mutual friends so why is she being like this with me?So basically, why is my friend acting like this, does anyone else think her question at the party was odd and why did she ask it and should I approach our mutual friends on advice as to how to handle the situation?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2006): Hey,
Maybe you're spending too much time with each other to the extent where you annoy each other, try taking a break from each other for a day or 2 and if you have tried to help with her with the depression and she has just been rude to you, you can't say you did'nt try
Goodluck x
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