A
female
age
18-21,
stephytee87
writes:I'm having a hard time at home and uni at the moment, and i called my ex bf to ask if i could kip on his sofa for one night, just till i got somethig else sorted out.He uhmm'd and ahh'd and eventually said no cos it would be too wierd. I was like, if you're over me and want to be friends then why would it be wierd? He didn't really reply in any specific way. I told him i was over our relationship (which he ended a month ago after 2 1/2 years)which im not at all, but i said i didnt want it to be about that, i wouldn't have asked if i didn't have to. He agreed but said he doesn't think it would be a good idea 'right now'. I really thought he was over it, do you think he might not be?I'm confused, as i wanted to be friends and then take it from there,see what happens.Any advice would be great, as im now wondering if he was pretending to be over me when he isn't.Thanks xx
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male
reader, anon_e_mouse + ♥, writes (11 March 2008):
 "I guess some people are just not mature enough to handle it"
I don't agree. Personally, after a splitting up with my gf over 4 months ago, I don't think it's easy being friends with an ex.
All sorts of issues arise, when she gets a new boyfriend, when I get a new girlfriend, etc. It all gets rather complicated and messy.
Some people prefer to leave the past in the past and avoid the whole friends thing. Not really a question of maturity.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): When some people break up they want to cut off contact because it might be weird for them to just be friends with someone they once slept with. I guess some people are just not mature enough to handle it. I hope your problems at home work out.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister  +, writes (9 March 2008):
 I think he is over it but I don't think you are. He is being nice and doesn't want to give you a wrong impression and also doesn't want to have to be in a situation to reject you. He doesn't want anything to happen that would confuse the fact that it's "over".
He may have a new girlfriend that comes over too and doesn't want to have his ex sleeping on the couch.
You want to be friends and "take it from there to see what happens" as if you hadn't just broken up and like you just met!!
He's not pretending anything, he is being very upfront and considerate of your feelings. I'm not sure why you broke up but at least he's being a nice guy about it.
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