A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex girlfriend broke up with me around a year ago. We tried re-kindling a few months following the breakup but things did not progress. I was direct with her and said I do not want to be friends and continue to communicate any longer since I felt she was stringing me along and using me as an emotional tampon. Starting a few months back she texts me things like 'Hi, how have you been?' and today she sent me something similar and started asking about my life again. I did not respond to today's text, but I replied to one a few months ago. I usually get a text from her once every 4-5 weeks so it's not as If this was a one time text. Is this a continuation of breadcrumbs or what exactly is she trying to accomplish with the monthly text messages? Is this a ploy for validation and an ego boost for her if I respond? Or is there more to it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2017): She only wants to know if you're still sulking and suffering over the breakup; and keeping tabs to see if you've moved on and started seeing other women.
You tried, and your last attempted failed. That's two failed attempts, my friend. Two!
You should go completely no contact; because she is only keeping her foot in the door. The point is to keep you dangling on a string of false-hope; until she herself has gotten over you, and found somebody else. That a matter of ego, not love. The thought of finding someone better for you than she was doesn't sit well. You are also delaying your healing and detachment-process. Like removing the scab from a wound that hasn't yet healed.
You were correct that being "friends" isn't feasible. You now have to man-up and close that door. Ignore all attempts to reach you, because they're nothing more than psychological-manipulation and head-games. Playing with your emotions.
Let go! Remember why you broke-up the first time. Then, let the second failed-attempt at reconciliation be sufficient evidence it will not work. The odds are highly against reconciliations after breakups. If no one has changed, it's just kicking a dead-horse.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (29 July 2017):
 What was the reason for breaking up in the first place? Whatever that issue was, has it been resolved?
If not... WHY waste time on this?
In reality? Does it matter WHY she is texting you?
You told her you didn't want friendship and you didn't want to continue with communication. YET, you do. Even if it takes a while for you to reply.
Decide if you are DONE with this, or not. If you are just WISH her well and BLOCK her number.
I think by texting you she keeps herself "fresh" in your mind, maybe even prevents you from moving on with someone else. JUST in case.
It's been a year. You two tried twice and it didn't work.
Is it really WORTH trying again? Do you really want to try a relationship with her again? Be honest.
Even if SHE is looking for reconciliation, the bigger question is, are you?
Personally? I wouldn't read too much into her texting once a month. But if I didn't feel like there is a reason to keep her around, I'd block her.
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