A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:two years ago, i reunited with my daughter whom i've not seen in 18 years. All was well until, 3 months into the relationship, i helped her out with a loan. It's been more than a year now and I have not received my money back. She says that she's in financial difficulties and will defer payments. However I see that she lives quite well and has expensive taste. Is she taking me for granted? What should I do
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2010): having been absent from her life for some time means the respect that you need to have for each other has yet to be reestablished. i suspect you were eager to help her to try and regain a semblance of closeness. i think back to basics is the way forward. talk to your daughter properly and get to know each other again. don't mention the money at this stage. if you are successful in having a close relationship she will offer to repay because she respects you. if that doesn't happen then ask for the money back in installments and don't lend her money again. money isn't everything - focus on your relationship.
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