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Is masturbation wrong for a christian woman?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 February 2010) 31 Answers - (Newest, 24 October 2010)
A female age 22-25, anonymous writes:

I'm a Cristian and I was wondering - is masturbating wrong even though you are in a marriage?

In other words is masturbating wrong period for a christian woman?

View related questions: christian, period

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A female reader, bussy Nigeria +, writes (24 October 2010):

am not for or against masturbation but to clarify the issue of Onanism. that was simply coitus interruptus not masturbation so it is not related to this issue at all. it was clear that he had intercourse with her, he just chose to ejaculate outside and here in my country, many husbands do that. it is a common means of preventing conception.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2010):

No. It can only be wrong, 'christianly' speaking, if:

1) one masturbates while thinking sadistic thoughts about hurting other people... That's not loving your neighbor. Thinking about other men when married or in a relationship could also be questionable, if one thinks of Jesus' words about committing adultery just by thinking about it.

Or

2) If one uses it as a kind of drug to escape one's problems. It's the same as with wine or beer: is it wrong for a Christian to drink them? The answer is no, except when it turns into an addiction. All the way back to the church fathers it was written that sex is not an evil except when it is used in a way that bars you from God or from being a good person. In other words, when it becomes an addiction that keeps you from concentrating on your personal relations, on your spiritual striving or daily duties and the like. And I doubt you're in such a situation where masturbation dominates you so that you can think and do nothing else.

So, as long as that's not the case, masturbate away happily; God wants you to enjoy life and the body HE gave you. God made the vagina and even gave women a clitoris which plays no part in reproduction. Why do you think he did that? Because he wanted you to use it.

As for Onan and the condemnation of spilling one's seed in the old testament, no christian need trouble himself with that any more than with the law of stoning unfaithful women.

Whether you're married or not, thinking about the act of love and making your body happy has got to be good. Give God some credit. He's not an idiot. He's wise, and he used to have a body too.

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (28 February 2010):

eddie agony auntThe bible is full of contradictions. The bible says not to kill but how many people have been killed by christians who thought they were doing God's work. People who try ti live by the statements in this book will never be able to reach the bar. It's set too high. Live in peace, love others and be a decent person. That should be enough.

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A female reader, JustMex United Kingdom +, writes (27 February 2010):

JustMex agony auntHmmm I just think that you should do what feels right, regardless of religion. Everyone has their own morals regardless of religion and law, and masturbation isn't wrong or a sin morally or legally, so if you enjoy it then you shouldn't feel bad, no one is getting hurt.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2010):

well just be careful about that cleanliness...stick with using soap...hand sanitizer is not... I REPEAT NOT... a good plan. it will set your fields on fire...woohoo...mal

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (26 February 2010):

Miamine agony auntLove is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.

It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

I Corinthians 13:4-8

Go with God, and spread love arround the world.. this is the message that I believe your Jesus Christ meant to bring.. The words of man are not the words of your God or of your Jesus Christ.. Jesus was pure love made man, and he was God on the Earth..

That's what I remember, and that's what made me a committed and devoted Christian before. That's what I tell me friends and my family who celebrate your lord and wish to walk in the steps of Jesus..

Unfortunately.. (my beliefs here) I found science and philosophy and found that I can't believe in a God up there, or God made human.. but it dosen't mean I don't understand and respect what you believe..

Just do your best.. On judgement day.. God will look at your beliefs and your actions.. he will judge you individual.. he will see if you listened to his words or followed the words of man. You try, and as I understand, that is good enough, God will understand.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (26 February 2010):

Miamine agony auntLove is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.

It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

I Corinthians 13:4-8

Go with God, and spread love arround the world.. this is the message that I believe your Jesus Christ meant to bring.. The words of man are not the words of your God or of your Jesus Christ.. Jesus was pure love made man, and he was God on the Earth..

That's what I remember, and that's what made me a committed and devoted Christian before. That's what I tell me friends and my family who celebrate your lord and wish to walk in the steps of Jesus..

Unfortunately.. (my beliefs here) I found science and philosophy and found that I can't believe in a God up there, or God made human.. but it dosen't mean I don't understand and respect what you believe..

Just do your best.. O

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (26 February 2010):

Miamine agony aunt:) Committed atheist here.. who spent many years as a devoted christian in the worship of God. I'm surrounded by family and friends who are christians, who accept me, and love me, although we think differently..

Love your God with all your heart, read your gospels and try to be Christlike in your behaviour... that's what I tell all my Christian friends, and we build a world of love.

My beliefs, remembering your a christian, and respecting your beliefs and your desire to please your God.. God is not mean.. God wants you happy.. pure at heart, stops you from sexual confusion and screwing the whole world..

But he gave you a mind to think, he gave you a mind to dream, he gave you a clitrous to gain sexual pleasure. You love your boyfriend, you are faithfull, and none of the bible texts say masturbation is wrong.. go, enjoy yourself, keep your mind on a loving, sexual relationship, blessed by your God, who see's all, knows all, and can forgive you when you do wrong..

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." -- Mahatma Gandhi

Follow the words of the bible, when in doubt, find a private place and pray to your God, he will listen and show you the way..

From an atheist (ex-Christian) to a God believer, rejoice and enjoy all the pleasure that God has created for you.. :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

No no it wasn't a waste of time, you all helped me very much, thanks :)

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (25 February 2010):

Miamine agony auntSigh.. guess reading the bible and asking her to look up all them quotes was a total waste of time then.

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A male reader, Faraday United Kingdom +, writes (25 February 2010):

Faraday agony auntAs an agnostic I doubt whether you will consider my reply to be worth anything in your (religious) terms, but in my view if there were a god, then he designed you and gave you this fantastic pleasure centre, your clitoris, for only one purpose - your personal pleasure.

It has NO other function, and is rarely stimulated fully during penetrative intercourse, so the only way to use it as your maker intended is to maturbate.

It would be an insult to him and his god-given gift if you do NOT do so!

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (25 February 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntHi Share Bear,

Foremost ,I would like to say that I am not an authority on the Bible and I only speak for myself. We are all on a learning curve.

There is no issue if you think of your husband or your b/f. I would agree with you on that. Some other people may not agree with us. They are entitled to their interpretations.

If we want to ask the pastor's viewpoints , some would say it is a sin.Some of us may find it hard to accept it.

This masturbation issue is best left to the individual to decide . Right or wrong, it is up to each individual to decide.

If your conscience troubles you ,stop it if you can .As in all things, too much of it is not good for your health.Do everything in moderation's.

I have learned that it is better to come as little children in the kingdom of God. Be simple and live a simple life without complicating your life with all those contentious issues. As long as we don't judge others , we should be all right.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (24 February 2010):

Miamine agony auntThink she needs to be married to be thinking of anyone. Think she'll be OK if she dose what I do, make up stories, or just go with the feeling, try hard not to think of anybody that is real.

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A female reader, Share Bear United Kingdom + , writes (24 February 2010):

Share Bear agony auntHi Laura- following on from your post about lustful thoughts, and Miamine's follow up...

If you think only about your partner to whom you are married during this- wouldn't that be thoughts of 'love' rather than 'lust'? (As it would if you were making love to them)

Hence- there would be no issue with masturbation per se at all- only with lustful thoughts of your neighbour's ox??

And there would be no issue here for the married OP, presumably thinking of her significant other or of no one else in particular?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

ok let me get this straight, I can masturbate and all as long as I don't think of anyone other then my bf. Ok I too see it this way (I hope I'm not wrong)

tnx 4 the help :)

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A female reader, Angzw Zimbabwe +, writes (24 February 2010):

Gees..! What have I been missing out on?! I believe that masturbation as a Christian is perfectly normal. God created us with common sense and brains to think for ourselves. We are sexual beings and we can't help the sensations we feel. Just masturbate and get your release and forget about it. I seriously doubt that on judgement day Jesus and St Peter will block your entrance through the pearly gates because you played with yourself. Because if there was any way we could all act that would guarantee safe passage in our own strength then no one can be saved. Christianity is about the grace of God and no amount of good behaviour can earn you your ticket to heaven. This does not mean that we can go on an evil spree, it just means that we are a work in progress our entire lives. A good book covering this issue and other sexual matters is called "The Truth About Sex" by Pastor Juanita Bynum.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (24 February 2010):

eyeswideopen agony auntyep it's Wednesday...we just had a pube question so it must be Wednesday...

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (24 February 2010):

Miamine agony auntmmmm... is it Wednesday already?

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (24 February 2010):

Miamine agony auntNo, no, no.. not at all Laura, just clarification, to help this young woman the best. Think she's been given all the information she needs now to make her own decision about if this is wrong or not. And what masturbation techniques might be more suitable if she chooses to use them.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (24 February 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntMiamine

I guess it is not wrong if you are not thinking of anyone..

I am only speaking for myself. Some hardliners or religious freaks may still say it is wrong.

I don't want to sound like a hypocrite or 'holy than thou' person. Whether anyone does it or not , it is not my concern.I will not judge them.

To me, there are only two very most important laws in Christianity . To love God with all your heart, soul ,mind and strength and to love your neighbour as yourself.

That sums up all the laws of God to me. I will not use scriptures to force down upon people's throat or bang it on their heads.

I will respect others views.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (24 February 2010):

Miamine agony auntLaura, I don't think of anyone, instead I make up stories in my head, or just enjoy the physical sensations.. is this then still forbidden?

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (24 February 2010):

Laura1318 agony aunt"If your a strong Christian, then you would know that you would be lusting while masturbating? "

When you masturbate, men and women would need some visual stimulation's and that is when they think of someone .

"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28).

If you are thinking of making love to someone while masturbating , you have committed lust in your heart.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (24 February 2010):

Miamine agony auntThanks Laura for those scripture passages.. I read them carefully, and again, there is nothing in them which forbids masturbation. They do talk about not lusting after others, and not having sex with many people.. but they do not forbid the hand on the penis or the hand on the vagina.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (24 February 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntUltimately , it all comes down to your faith levels . If your faith is weak ,you will say it is alright.

If your faith is strong , you would obey the interpretations of those theologians (They could be wrong and not necessary the Gospel truth)

Whatever one's stand is, we should not judge a person..If you feel troubled, then don't do it.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (24 February 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntThe Bible did not specifically mentioned masturbation .

If you can avoid it ,good for you. But if you can't you are only human.

There are many laws in Christianity and no one can follow all those laws. Those laws were written to show mankind have sinned. No one is righteous in this world according to God.

Conservative Christians and strong believers may tell you it is a sin but it is up to you to decide if you can accept it or not.

God looks into your heart and your religion is between you and God alone.

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT MASTURBATION?

http://bible.com/bibleanswers_result.php?id=252

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (24 February 2010):

Miamine agony aunt"If your a strong Christian, then you would know that you would be lusting while masturbating? "

Sorry, please explain this to me?

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (24 February 2010):

Miamine agony auntThere is a passage about a guy called Onan, he masturbated because he didn't feel right having sex with his wife. His wife used to be married to his brother and he married her to look after her. This was judged sinful.. "don't spend your seed on the ground..." He was supposed to make her fully his wife and enjoy have sex and children with her. Only reference to masturbation I can remember.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (24 February 2010):

Miamine agony auntAnother atheist here.. can't remember ever seeing a passage in the bible which forbids masturbation.

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A male reader, Beingblack United Kingdom +, writes (24 February 2010):

Beingblack agony auntI used to be sympathetic towards people with a strong religious belief in their own particular faith, but it seems that in the modern world, those who claim to be religious are 'convenient' believers.

If Christianity states in no uncertain terms that masturbation is forbidden, then it's wrong. If there seems to be some 'grey area', then only you and your level of faith can answer your question.

I suspect you enjoy doing it, but the pleasure feels 'wrong' or 'unholy' or somehow makes you feel like a 'weak' Christian.

Is masturbation wrong in Gods eyes? I have no clue, but if YOU feel that it is, then don't do it. Otherwise keep enjoying yourself.

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A female reader, JustMex United Kingdom +, writes (24 February 2010):

JustMex agony auntNo. It's normal. Then again I'm an atheist so I don't know if you're just looking for answers from other Christians...

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A female reader, Paris-Amy-Louise United Kingdom +, writes (24 February 2010):

Paris-Amy-Louise agony auntIf your a strong Christian, then you would know that you would be lusting while masturbating?

I know that sounded really patronising, sorry, but do you get where i'm coming from?

But i guess if you wanted to you can.

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