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Is love enough when everything else in the relationship is crumbling?

Tagged as: Faded love, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 December 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 16 December 2009)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hello all, I have been with my Fiance for 3 and 1/2 yrs. I don't know what to do. She has 3 children from a previous relationship, (that I love so much) but I am trying to leave them out of this equation, because I cannot stay w/someone just for the sake of the children.

She has changed so much since we first got together, I'm not sure if I should stay or go? Deep down, I love her, but is love enough when almost everything else in the relationship is crumbling?

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (16 December 2009):

Well if you can't communicate you will need help to sort it out.

Tell her it's reached the point of no return and get a counselling session booked.

After a few of them you can see if progress is being made, or if not then you can have an amicable, agreed on split.

Good Luck!! xx

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (16 December 2009):

No, love isn't enough at all. It takes a lot of work. It would be sad to end it though, if there is any way it can be fixed. Soi my first bit of advice is that you need to sit her down by herself and tell her you're very worried about the relationship. If that means counselling, it means you have to go to counselling. Try talking to her first, then see where it leads.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Sorry, about leaving out many details. But, for 1, it seems as if we have drifted apart! We used to be best friends and now it seems as if we just tolerate eachother. 2 our sex life used to be awesome and now it is basically non existent. 3 we do not communicate well. When we do talk, nothing gets resolved, nothing gets better. Those are the top 3 main issues.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (16 December 2009):

Love is not enough.

But since you don't give any details of what kind of problems you two are having it's really hard to advise further.

Many times, a relationship can be saved with a big sit down and crisis talk.

Tell her it's getting too much and you want to take some time together out of the house to talk things through. Get away from the kids and distractions and see if she wants to calmly talk things through. I am sure you have changed too and you'll BOTH need to compromise on some things.

Give it your best shot to try and work things out and if it's not getting any better in a few months time then leave.

Good Luck!! xx

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