| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: is it wrong to go on dates with people that you don't fancy?Recently, i have been building my confidence and i find that going on dates with guys i know i'm not attracted to really gives me a boost as its getting me more comfortable around guys (something i never was before!) Until now, i couldn't even talk to guys without going red and had never been on a date or had a bf.I don't ask them out, but if a guy asks me out, i don't say no either. I really enjoy going out and having a good time but in a friendly way, but recently i think one guy really fell for me and i felt guilty that i knew from the start that i was never going to like him in that way.Am i being selfish? and should i never do this again? or is this behaviour ok?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2009): thanx for all your advice. All this dating has doen is really built my confidence with guys and i'm hopeing that sooner or later someone will come along that i really really like back! hopefully!
thanx again
A
female
reader, dr.2.be  +, writes (12 July 2009):
 Theres nothing wrong with that. I have gone out on many dates with guys who liked me but I didn't want to be any more than friends and vice versa. I made it clear to them that I only want friendship before we went out and I find that we still had a good time. Maybe even a better time because we don't seem as nervous around each other. Its fun dating people and like everyone else said, its good practice!
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A
female
reader, straight to the truth  +, writes (12 July 2009):
There is nothing wrog with going on dates for practice so long as your not leading the other person on.
never say no because you never know, once you have been on that date you might find that you actually quite like them. this is the best way to get to know someone and its not all about looks sometimes you just get that connection.
start dating get the experiance and one day you will click, along the line you may find that you will be the one that likes someone and they dont feel the same way but this is how dating goes.
If you go on a date and you know straight away that it's not going to work then if they want to meet up again just be honest and say you dont seem them in that way.
Hope this helps.
x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2009): Its ok as long as you don't lead them on and you make it clear that you are not interested after one date. It is great experience and boosts your ego no end but don't let them pay for the meals and take things from them unless you are keen. When I got divorced I did this to give me some dating experience and it was very useful but I felt bad when i knew I didn't really like them even spending a tiny bit of time with them. Also some of the ones you don't like often won't get the hint and can be a bit stalkerish so be careful.
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A
male
reader, Heartbroken in love +, writes (12 July 2009):
Well I can say that in the case where the guy really fell for you it would not be a good idea to keep consenting to dates with him. If you can see that it really is just mutually a good time for the both of you than there is nothing wrong with it. Its one thing to just enjoy a persons company but its another to feel like you are falling in love with someone. Some people believe in casual dating but for me its not something I practise. This doesn't mean there is anything wrong with 1 or 2 casual dates with a guy you know for a fact you will never be attracted to. Anything beyond that might be interpreted by him as leading on. Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2009): as long as you make it clear to them after one date and don't string them along and go on several dates yes..don't play with peoples feelings but please do get some dating experience!
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