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Is it wrong that I get more sexual satisfaction from masterbating and my sexual fantasies, and less satisfaction when having sex with a man?

Tagged as: Dating, Pornography, Sex, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 May 2017) 8 Answers - (Newest, 13 May 2017)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, *aragoza writes:

Hey. I have been masturbating since I was younger. A lot. I'm 43 years old now, cannot settle down, never found a man who really satisfies me (maybe 1 or 2) because they always get off for themselves and can't really be bothered with me or my sexuality.

I watch porn because I imagine having a man who loves me and all my sexual aspects.

I always imagine it's me and him (this void man) but what I know of men is that they like variety and there he is. Always fucking other woman and not me. (Isn't this the wildest fantasy??) all my men have really fxxxxx prostitutes and cheated and all that stuff.

I'm a bot of a mess sexually and my introductions to it have not been pure, honest but not pure, so I'm left with that!

I always thought you gave that we would have one Man (as a marriage partner) but they don't do this.

And so I'm left with fantasy and porn. I always try to control it, but it comes back and gets me. I came about 10 times the other day and I'm annoyed at myself.

I'm a girl who believes in God and the bible doesn't really talk about masturbation. Is it wrong?

View related questions: porn, prostitute

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2017):

That's great female anon! ENJOY yourselves!!! ;)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2017):

Thanks for your input! I love to role play. I wore a brunette wig a few times ( I'm blond) and pretended to be someone else. I'm going to try the scenario you just gave me.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2017):

I have told him I am turned on by other women wanting him or the fantasy of him banging another woman. He knows all about my fantasies. Lol He just goes with it. I think it secretly turns him on too.

And although the sex is always incredible, I find that it is even more elevated when I share my fantasies with him. It just adds that extra level.

So, if you feel safe with him and trust him, why not try it? See what happens. You never know, right? Maybe you can even roll play.

When he comes home one night, take the initiative. And pretend. Tell him you saw him with that blonde in his office having sex with her on his desk when you went to surprise him for lunch.

Or create a scenario. And play it out. He will have to play along of course. And then go from there. I love to roll play. It is so awesome. ;)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2017):

Female anon: I meant to ask if you have ever considered telling you boyfriend about your masturbation fantasy to see what his reaction might be. I have thought about it myself.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2017):

Other female anon: You're right. It is about the emotions and being competitive. It's good to know we're not alone.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2017):

Wow! Female Anon, I thought I was the only weird one out there who is turned on by the "thought" of her boyfriend having sex with other women! It is not something I wish for in real life; don't get me wrong. But I think maybe it opens up the competitive streak that we women have to please our man. And so, the thought of another woman all over him, leads us to up our game in the bedroom. SHOW him what he DOES have and that he can't have better. And unleash all that passion we have. So, the sex can be even more intense. So, yes, I have the same fantasy.

Although I don't watch porn. I just create the illusion in my mind of him and so and so.

So, if he talks to so and so, I accuse him of cheating and then I imagine it, and then I get off on it. It is a competitive streak that we have to be the best in bed for our men. So, that anger drives us.

You know what I mean. It's all about the emotions. Amazing what kind of a pull they really have when we let them lead the way.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2017):

Male anon is right. There is nothing wrong with masturbation. I'm a woman and even though I have a boyfriend I masturbate to porn at least twice a week.

I have a wild fantasy that is similar to yours. When I watch porn and masturbate I often imagine my boyfriend is the man who is having sex with the woman in the porn clip. For some reason this turns me and makes me cum harder and more times. It turns me on and makes me a little angry at the same time. Go figure! Anyway, you are not alone.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2017):

There is nothing wrong with masturbation! Many men and women do it, including those in relationships, as we all know our bodies the best!

I just don't think you have found the right partner yet, someone who is in tune with your sexual desires and needs. Again that is not unusual so there is nothing to worry about.

You seem to have a very high sex drive judging by the details you give, so you need a lot of sexual release. I don't see that you have a problem though!

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