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Is it weird that I'm reluctant to date a girl so much younger than me? She's 19

Tagged as: Age differences, Big Questions, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 June 2016) 5 Answers - (Newest, 29 June 2016)
A male Belgium age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Okay so Friday night I went out with a friend of mine, and we met some girls of which one seemed to be taking a liking to me. She looked fairly young and these days girls look a lot older then they actually are. But apparently she's 19 years old. And I'm 27 is it weird if I'm a bit reluctant to try and date a girl so much younger than me? She seemed to be pretty comfortable around me even after she asked how old I was. So it didn't seem to bother her at all.

I've been single 4 years now, and I've never dated anyone that much younger than myself and I do like her, and find her very attractive but I'm not sure how to handle this, how to ask her out I mean.

Apparently these days people rather give out their facebook profile than their phone number, she gave me her cellphone with facebook open and I didn't know what she wanted from me at first to be honest, never happened to me before.

Does she now expect me to contact her or should I wait till she contacts me? I mean we did agree we would contact one another if we were going out, but I'd like to see her in a different venue so we could talk easier with no one around or at least no one we know. But perhaps she doesn't want that yet.

Sooo any thoughts on how I should proceed?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (29 June 2016):

So_Very_Confused agony auntIt's 8 years which is a big gap at 19 and 27 and much less of a gap at 30 and 38.

As we age we change up until about age 28 or so and what we want at 20 is not what we want at 30.

IF you are interested in getting to know her go for it. she's legally an adult and she's given you the signs that she is up for trying it out.

Tread carefully. Get to know her...some people at 19 are very mature. Some are not. If you are at all interested then get to know her...

but keep it casual and non-sexual until you figure out if HER 19 matches your 27.

I can tell you that when my husband was 19 and I was 32/33 I would never have thought twice about him but at 43 and 56 we fit pretty well.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2016):

I'm 28 I would no way date a teenager. It's not weird to be reluctant at all. I dated people younger than me before and I ended up paying for everything and being the taxi which I grew to resent. But they didn't drive at were still at college so it was my fault really. I personally wouldn't want to date someone under 25 I just don't think we'd be on the same page. I hung out with a 19year old once and chatted games somewhat sadly I realised alot of stuff I was talking about they never played because they were a toddler when they were out and had no clue what I was on about. Our sense of humour wasn't in sync stuff they found funny I might have 10years ago but not now. then I realised I am old lol if you really like the girl why not, but you might find you aren't really on the same page they could even start to get on your nerves. All depends on what kind of maturity levels you both have.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (26 June 2016):

Honeypie agony auntShe wants YOU to contact her.

However, if you feel she MIGHT be a bit too young for your taste then don't. You don't "owe" her to contact her. If you want to give her a chance, pick a day/date/venue and suggest it to her.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (26 June 2016):

Andie's Thoughts agony aunt"she's 19 years old. And I'm 27 is it weird if I'm a bit reluctant to try and date a girl so much younger than me?" - you became an adult when she was 10. You've been an adult longer than she's been a teenager. Personally, when that's the case, I think it's dodgy and not advisable. When both people are over 25, that's when I think bigger age gaps become okay.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2016):

She gave you her contacts. If you want to you can contact her.

If you want to make it more casual start with FB.

When I was 19/20 I dated and older guy. Age is not necessarily a problem. But do not assume the "father" role, a protector, someone who has more knowledge and experience. Our relationship worked because he always treated me as equal, he was interested in what I thought and had to say.

However, be prepared that there will be some differences since even though you will treat her as your equal she's not that emotionally or mentally.

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