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Is it unusual to still be a virgin at 21?

Tagged as: Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 May 2008) 17 Answers - (Newest, 26 September 2008)
A female Canada age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi,

I'm just wondering if this is unusual to still be a virgin at 21. I am quite shy and haven't had yet any boyfriend or girlfriend whatsoever.

I planned an appointment to the GYN since they say you should go once you reach the age of 21 but thing is I'm just really ashamed of having to tell them I'm still a virgin and not sexually active because I know that's really unusual.

I'm also scared that no guy will want to be with me because I'm still a virgin.

Any advice ? Thanks.

View related questions: shy, still a virgin

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A female reader, Passerby United States +, writes (26 September 2008):

No, it is not usual. I, myself, was a virgin for 23 years and 4 months. I've been very proud of it (still am), never ashamed. I don't care what people think, they think what they will. Do as you please and be confident with what you do (or don't do).

I would have prefered that my man had been a virgin too. What's done cannot be undone. Reguardless of his past, he has a gentle heart and definitely is worthy. I'm happy that I waited.

Live your life as you see fit, with no regrets. Wait for that special somebody who you deem is worthy of you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2008):

I want to thank the person who put up this question. You are not alone. I too am 21 a female and a virgin. I'm not an innocent prude but the last time I went to 3rd base I was 15. I am increasingly uncomfortable with my virginity and prospect of losing it. Especially with a high level of sexual activity amongst my dearest friends and family members in my age group.

Its an awkward position to be in.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008):

Believe me most guys would want to be with someone like you, there's nothing to be ashamed about. I've never had a boyfriend either, I've never kissed a boy to be exact. To say more I know about this guy and his wife, I really admire and look-up to them. His name is Jason Evert, he got married when he was 24 and he was a virgin and his wife wasn't. She made a lot of mistakes and lost her virginity when she was 15 and when she turned 18 she just changed and remained chaste until the day that they got married(visit pure love club and you'll learn a lot more). Their a lot of guys like Jason around and know that God has someone planned for you, theirs nothing to be ashamed about, I'm waiting for Mr. Right to come along too, but as of right now I'm not even thinking about getting into a relationship with anyone, hey I just turned 17 and I am honestly not ready for a relationship. My friends don't understand why I am the way that I am and why I am waiting for marriage, but I know that in the long run the wait will be worth it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008):

Hey!

I think that nowadays it is unusual to be a virgin at 21! BUT, I am 21 too and also a virgin. I have much more respect for those that lose their virginity later so I don't think that you will have a problem getting a boyfriend/girlfriend due to being a virgin. If you do get such problems, then those that reject you are shallow and not worth it! My best friend (who's a girl) is also 21 and a virgin! There are lots of us out there!

You are you and noone else. Do it when you're ready!

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A male reader, Devil Crazy Singapore +, writes (26 May 2008):

Devil Crazy agony auntNo, you are not weird at all! I am a 24-year old male, a fellow virgin too. I wish there are more girls like you around, so I would have more hope of getting someone like you! LOL.

Girls with too many sexual partners freak me out. Seriously.

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (20 May 2008):

LazyGuy agony aunt50% looses their virginity before the age of 18. Okay, so this statistic is made up on the spot BUT you often read studies that say something like that.

Read carefully and see that this ALSO means the 50% do NOT loose their virginity before the age of 18.

Life your own life the way you want. If you do not feel ready yet to have sex with someone then don't.

The right person will not reject you for being a virgin and if the right person is a typical male he might actually be delighted to find a "pure" girl and not have to deal with a woman whose sexual partners could crew an aircraft carrier.

Just read this site, how many posts are there that go "Help, my gf is a virgin and I just cannot accept this" vs "Help my gf had sex with more men then the Happy Hooker and I just cannot accept this".

While at it, read up on tips about overcoming shyness.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008):

My boyfriend was 21 and a virgin when I met him. I loved it that I've been the only person he's been with. I couldn't wait to jump his bones and show him a good time.

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A female reader, les United States +, writes (18 May 2008):

Hey,

Dont worry, I lost my virginity when I was 21. I never told the guy that I lost it too that I was a virgin, and I dont think he really knew either.

If you're concerned that guy wont be interested in you b/c you're not sexually experienced, dont worry about that either b/c I think that sexual satisfaction is directly correlated with how much you care about the person and how much they care about you.

I've been with some guys who are older and very experienced, so should have been amazing in bed, and honestly, i was not impressed and i dont think they were either.

Then I met my bf whom Im in love with, and I think that at 23 before me, he's really only had sex ONE or TWO time in his entire life and he's a GUY (he says more but I'm positive thats a lie) and he's is more amazing than an army of guys that have been screwing since 16. When you're with teh right person, you'll know what to do. So dont worry about it.

PLus I know a whole bunch of people that are 21+ that are virgins. Whatever the media presents, is not true to life.

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A male reader, Tunsat United States +, writes (18 May 2008):

Alright some guys might think a virgin? I want an experienced freak in bed. But do you want that kind of guy? Wouldn't you want someone who cares about you more than he cares about having sex with you? The guy that you'd be looking for anyway would love it. I know plenty of guys who talk about abstaining till they are married and they always talk about I hope my wife is a virgin because in their mind if they hold out this whole time for someone special then they want to end up with someone special.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (18 May 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntLucky is the man who marries you .

You are pure and priceless!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008):

You should be proud! With all the media out there basically forcing sex on people as young as 10, you've done well to wait for the right person. I bet a lot of people wish right know that they waited.

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A female reader, duskyrowe United Kingdom +, writes (18 May 2008):

duskyrowe agony auntDarling you have posted this post 3 TIMES already!!!!!

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (18 May 2008):

rcn agony auntI'm a guy. If I was with you, there wouldn't be a problem, because for me, sex is not just an act of sex, it's a connection between people.

What I have to say about being a virgin at 21. Honorable.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008):

Don't worry your self over being a virgin, it doesn't say anything bad but says allot that is good about you.

21 is normal for a mature lady.

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A female reader, NobodyKnows United States +, writes (18 May 2008):

NobodyKnows agony auntNo. i know like 30 people who are 20-40 and they havnet had sex yet. it's ok don't freak out!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008):

Short and sweet. NO!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008):

look guys this days (some) they only want sex. but when you find your true love who want to marry you he will want you as a virging.

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