A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just went to a psychologist for my suspicious mistrust nature. It is affecting my relationship. I always thought it was from bullying, but he took into account that I had been hospitalized during my early infant weeks and also incubated directly after birth for a week. Apparently it is during this time that we learn trust vs mistrust.I'm terrified now that this is me and it cannot ever be rectified. What do you think? Can I be changed?! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2015): Op here. Thanks wise owl. I start our proper sessions on Monday, once a week. He seems positive. I can't possibly see how you go back and fix it though. I don't want to lose my boyfriend. He doesn't want to lose me either. But we both have agreed that we can't live like this (my suspociousness of him for no reason)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2015): I think you need to have your psychologist expound on that information he provided. You've taken it as the one and only source of your issues; as if there is no hope. I think you got the gist of it, but you're caught-up by how far back it may originate. All you heard was the part of infancy, and that's where it all ended. I strongly suggest that you ask more questions. Get more clarification. You came here, when the source of the information is where you should have directed your questions.
Now you're likely to think your situation is hopeless, and make no effort to deal with your trust-issues; believing they're a birth-defect. In the field of psychology, it might take a doctor time to reach a real diagnosis, my dear. Then the work begins. It may not be narrowed down to one reason. There could be many. He must sort through many reasons and research your history. That can't be done in just one or two sessions.
Please get more information, and get a thorough explanation based on a complete evaluation; before you use that as an excuse to drive someone out of your life. I hope you're going in for regular treatment sessions. You can't just take one suggestion, and believe that's it. There is a process of healing and series of therapy sessions to undergo. Many people walk into a doctor's office, get a name for it; and wave it like a banner, assuming their work is done. I hope your psychologist gains enough of your "trust" that you will work with him; however long it takes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2015): Thanks YouWish. I have been to counsellors and the rest and I kmownmy relationship is on the edge because I just can't shake the suspiciousness ... I know logically and rationally that there's no need for it but I just do not have the tools to change it. So yes, it scares me that it might have something to do with such an early developmental phase. But I always let fear hold me back. I need the strength to get on it!
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (6 March 2015):
 He may be right in YOUR case, but that's not true in all people. Yes, there's a nature vs. nurture issue, but speaking as a fellow "premature" (by nearly two months, so my mother said) who spent three weeks in NICU, the only thing I deal with that could be connected to that time is a serious phobia of needles. I do not deal with trust issues, and I've dealt with cheaters.
There's more than just if you were in the hospital as a baby. Bullying could possibly do it, but the majority of people have experienced bullying at one point. The best and brightest of humanity try to get knocked down by the second best who are insecure. Everyone has experienced searing inner pain at one point.
You must have faith that you can become better. That you can self-actualize. YOU write your destiny. YOU decide what you believe. Nature or upbringing could have instilled some basic primal personality traits, but you have control, and some of that control led you to see betterment from a psychologist. That is very good.
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