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Is it too much to say 'love ya' in a text before we have gone on our first date?

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Question - (25 November 2010) 11 Answers - (Newest, 26 November 2010)
A male United States age 36-40, *tj writes:

Theres a girl I like. Were suposed to go to a game together in a few days in what I'm assuming is our first date. My question is whether its alright to text her somethin like 'happy thanksgivin ____, love ya'? Is it too much? Ive told her before and she seemed to like it. Shes told me love you but both of these were for favors we did for each other. Thank you!

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A male reader, btj United States +, writes (26 November 2010):

btj is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Wow at the anonymous answerer. I agree, I think ya can express well through letters or other forms of 'written' communications. I guess you're all right though, the 'love ya' we exchanged were during the course of a convo, this would be outta nowhere. The parent issue, she said she usually doesn't go out (dating I assume, for she hangs out with friends). Its a culture thing. Latinos are real protective of their daughters. She says theyd have to meet everyone from me to MY folks and the place were going to and we might still not go. Im 17, shes 16. They might not like that either. So we just cooked up this strategic plan haha.

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A male reader, btj United States +, writes (26 November 2010):

btj is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Wow at the anonymous answerer. I agree, I think ya can express well through letters or other forms of 'written' communications. I guess you're all right though, the 'love ya' we exchanged were during the course of a convo, this would be outta nowhere. The parent issue, she said she usually doesn't go out (dating I assume, for she hangs out with friends). Its a culture thing. Latinos are real protective of their daughters. She says theyd have to meet everyone from me to MY folks and the place were going to and we might still not go. Im 17, shes 16. They might not like that either. So we just cooked up this strategic plan haha.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2010):

I met a man online.. I fell in loVe with him.

Is it real?

YES

How do I know? I FEEL IT. It's incredible. I have a pulse!

It's only with the heart one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye." Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

If you love this girl, then love her. Asking others if it's okay if you can love her via text .. takes away your magical sparkles and romance chemicals.

Texting and emailing, is a far, far better way to connect than fake dating and waiting for a call. A letter lasts for ever.

~/~

c. A.D. 100

You say that you are feeling my absence very much, and your only comfort when I am not there is to hold my writings in your hand and often put them in my place by your side. I like to think that you miss me and find relief in this sort of consolation. I, too, am always reading your letters, and returning to them again and again as if they were new to me -- but this only fans the fire of my longing for you. If your letters are so dear to me, you can imagine how I delight in your company; do write as often as you can, although you give me pleasure mingled with pain.

Gaius Plinius Caecilius Secundus (A.D. 61/62-c. 113) Roman lawyer and writer known as Pliny the Younger

there ya go

how's thaT.

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A female reader, xanthic United States +, writes (25 November 2010):

xanthic agony auntHm. I'm curious, what might the issue be with her parents?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2010):

Way to early to say that. In fact don't say until she does. Just to be on the safe side.

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A female reader, mizz.butterflies United States +, writes (25 November 2010):

mizz.butterflies agony auntdont say love ya ur gonna look very easy.

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A male reader, btj United States +, writes (25 November 2010):

btj is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you all for the answers. It's a strange situation, really. We've gotten to know each other really well since we've texted for hours on end for some time. The reason we haven't gone out till now is because her folks can't find out we're hanging out together or else were both dead so we needed planning! Is this more acceptable then: 'Happy thanksgivin. Your one of the few people who make me genuinely happy. So thank you.'?

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A male reader, Welsh Uncle Dave United Kingdom +, writes (25 November 2010):

If it's banter you could probably get away with it, but if it's genuine, then it's a no.

However, the other thing to consider though is texts do not express the tone that you would be saying it and could be misinterpreted as you don't know each other well enough.

My other half looks back at old texts now and says that she understands the way i say things now, but didn't then.

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A female reader, xanthic United States +, writes (25 November 2010):

xanthic agony auntIt's a bit soon to be saying 'I love you' to each other, in my opinion, but I suppose there's no harm if you're both fine with it.

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A female reader, Princess Aunty Mauritius +, writes (25 November 2010):

No its a bit too early to say love ya. i guess you should give your relationship a bit time. and don't be hasty in saying i love you. try to befriend her first and know her better.

Haste can lead you to bond a relation with a person which might be wrong for you. and can cause negative effects on you in the future and your relation as well.

So take a bit time to know the girl better and see if she'll be your mrs perfect or the one whom you have been searching for.

the most important thing :- by saying i love you on the first date might create a bad impression of yourself vis a vis that girl. she would like think that oh god wonder how many girls he has said i love you till now..even worst he'll take you for an easy going guy!!!

so hope this has helped. do give us feedback (^_^)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2010):

I wouldnt say that so soon, to say at the end of a text Love (your name) would be more suitable.

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