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Is it time to leave?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 September 2010) 9 Answers - (Newest, 29 September 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

i have been with my current partner for 11 years. he refuses to get a job to help with the bills. If he gets any money he will spend it on drink. he is verbally abusive and on a few occasions in drink he has been physically abusive. i am at the end of my tether.is it time to leave ?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2010):

Time to detach from him and then you can not enable him. Who knows some save themselves in the end when they are in the void all alone, but don't go down with him. There is no reasoning with alcoholism and you can never change him, he must do it himself. I would advise you to leave but due to his violence do so carefully.

spunky monkey

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (29 September 2010):

Jmtmj agony auntWell if that's the way you choose to describe him then you're really just looking for people to tell you to leave him... There's really no-one of sane mind who could tell you to stay with him after that description.

But yeh, for what its worth- leave him, nobody deserves to be treated that way.

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (29 September 2010):

BrownWolf agony aunt

From the moment he raised his hand, you should been gone before that hand came down.

Unless you are waiting for us to come help you pack :)

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A male reader, jhy18 China +, writes (29 September 2010):

jhy18 agony auntleave now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (29 September 2010):

It was time to leave 10 years ago. So yes, time to go.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2010):

At the very least take a break from him. Either ask him to leave for a few weeks or go yourself if you have somewhere to stay. If you have a little time apart it might make him wake up. Or you might find the strength to stay away and make a new start. The years whip past and if he isnt going to change, you will find it easier to leave now than say, in another 11 years time. You are missing so much by not having a loving supporting partner. I hope you break free and make a better life for yourself.

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A female reader, single gal Botswana +, writes (29 September 2010):

sweetheart its time to leave him. the longer you stay with him the harder it will get.

the fact that he both physically and verbally buses you is enough reason to leave.

break free before its too late. and you need to report the physical abuse.

good luck

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2010):

It's certainly time to take a break from all of his nonsense, or his actions will both consume and break you. Everyone in the world deserves better than to live with a partner who cares that little about responsibility.

If he doesn't want to work, but spends all his money on booze, that means he wants you to support his alcoholism and abuse towards yourself. He's wanting to live in the dark, and you want to live in the light. You can't live in both at the same time and still be in the same room together. You're going to have to choose. It's already been 11 years... do you want to buy lightbulbs for another 11 years, only for him to unscrew all of them as well?

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A male reader, Kenj United Kingdom +, writes (29 September 2010):

Kenj agony auntNo one deserves to be in an abusive relationship. It's not asking too much to be loved, appreciated and respected from a partner.

I know it's a hard choice to make but I think you have come to the right conclusion.

Its about time you broke free and find someone who appreciates you for who you are, you dont have to put up with this any longer now.

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