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female
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anonymous
writes: is it safe to keep secrets in a long term relationship? is okay to spy on ur man to make sure he is up to no good? or will it make him try to hide secrets even more, or be more sneaky? or should i just trust him and let my feelings be? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2006): I think some men and women have secrets - either bad or neutral that they don't share with their companions. This is the same with me. There are certain things like secrets whom I share with my friends and family, and possibly certain things from my past that keep from my partner. It's all about moderate balance. Not sure how to explain this though.
As for spying on him, checking up on him - wow, would I get irritated if I found out my gf did that. First, she just showed me she doesn't trust me. Second, it would show me she's an insecure person which may affect my relationships with my female friends. Third, it shows me that her mind and emotions aren't too stable which might distance myself from her gradually over time.
A
female
reader, sleepysly +, writes (10 October 2006):
 why do you need to have secrets? what have you done? if your partner makes you feel that you should spy on him theres nothing wrong with you spying.f hes trying hard to hide things then theres proberbly no point being with him
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2006): this is not a good idea as it will make him keep things from you. You should try talking to him and tell him how you feel. he will tell you things this way but if he finds out you are spying on him he might do them to see if he is caught
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