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female
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anonymous
writes:so if a 17 year-old girl feels she's emotionally and mentally ready to go out with an older guy, who is more experienced and has ahd more sexual partners and she is a virgin is it fair to male him wait because she's decide she's mature enough to date an older guy so should he expect a normal relationship and is it unreasonable to expect him to wait until she's ready?? thank you x Reply to this Question |
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008): Lemme get this straight:
You think the fact that he's had other women in the past means YOU don't have a 100% right to still not sleep with him if you wanna date him?
You're definitely not ready to date the guy.
Being "ready" means you're strong enough in who YOU are not to let the age difference force you into doing anything you wouldn't do with a guy your own age. You just failed the test.
But I know you'll probably date and sleep with him anyway.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everyone i just know that guys that have regular sex and are used to sexual relationships may just get tired with their girlfriend because they're not on the same wavelength. im 17 and i have a MASSIVE crush on an older guy(a LOT older) but i don't want to lose my virginity now. what if has to wait 2 years or something? i know that you guys are right and he should respect me and my wishes but does the average guy really consider this worthit? anyway thanks :)
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female
reader, Ask oldersister  +, writes (21 May 2008):
 You either get your needs met in a relationship or you don't. In my last relationship, it was almost a year (he was 20yrs older) before we had sex and the one prior to that was 2mths. I also had sex on the first night with my ex and we lasted 7yrs. Whether you work out with this older guy is going to depend on many things like respect, compatibility, values, and communication. If he's not willing to wait until you are comfortable with anything at any level, this just shows impatience which is selfish and immature, at any age. Having sex with someone requires you to be emotionally and then physically ready so if he isn't keen to that process, he's not a good guy to keep around regardless of age.
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female
reader, lexilou + ♥, writes (21 May 2008):
 It irrelevant how many partners you have had or whether you or are a virgin or what age you both are. Sex should be about when you are both ready even if one has to wait and there is no harm keeping him waiting until you are really really sure. If he cant wait he's not the guy you thought he was anyway, dont let anyone ever pressure you into it. I dont think he will expect a normal relationship just because he has done it all before. I was single in my 30's and if I thought I had found a decent guy I made them wait a few months sometimes, they certainly didnt expect me just to put out on the first date because I was experienced. x
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