A
female
age
30-35,
*omeoneLikeYou
writes:For a few months now I have been building these feelings for a friend of mine. It started with an evening in the summer, where nothing happened, but I just started thinking of him in this way. Weirdly we started texting and talking a lot on Facebook after that. And mostly it started with him!So now we talk everyday to each other, laugh, flirt, ... And we do a lot of stuff together because we are in the same group of friends. But nothing ever really happens because we both know it's to weird i suppose. Why is it weird?1. we have known each other for such a long time.2. it would ruin or friendship if it doesn't work out.3. our group of friends wouldn't be the same if we were together.And moreover, I'm nog completely sure he feels the same way. Maybe he just likes to talk to me, but doesn't feel anything. Is that even possible?So guys, question to you: is it possible to talk to a girl everyday and tell her about your day and stuff, but don't have feelings for her? Or don't mean anything more by it?I'm lost in this situation. It seems like it will never be solved.
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice  + ♥, writes (19 November 2012):
 Someone,
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/preferably-guys-opinions--friendship-between-guys-and.html
There is the site for that discussion about friendships between guys and girls. Start at the bottom and read upwards. You will see that most women want guys to be able to be just friends, but most guys have difficulties with just friendly relationships with girls.
The point is yes a friends relationship is possible, but it is not all that common. Sorry gals, he's probably interested in more.
FA
RE. Lady in Love's advice. Tests like that frequently backfire on the girl. For example you let it be known that a "mysterious guy" has a crush on you. This guy that you are interested in who is not in a committed relationship with you may see it as a sign to back off and give the other guy who you are paying attention to a chance. Then where would you be. You would have only your fake boyfriend.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 November 2012):
 it's very possible for folks to talk to other folks daily and not have "feelings" for them.
as for your reasons for not being a couple:
1. we have known each other for such a long time.
that's a good thing... a romantic relationship based on friendship makes the best sense
2. it would ruin or friendship if it doesn't work out.
true but living life is about taking risks
3. our group of friends wouldn't be the same if we were together.
NOT your problem.
if you are interested let him know. he might be considering posting here about you the exact same thing...
GO FOR IT. it's a risk but then we have to take risks.
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A
female
reader, Lady in Love  +, writes (19 November 2012):
 i'm no guy but i can tell you this, a guy with no girl friend have a lot of free time and because you respond daily and you clearly flirt back and stuff he'll be enjoying talking to you.
you simply need to test if he loves you.
tests:
1-just disappear from his life for a couple of days, ditch the group, don't go online, if possible turn off your phone, just let him miss you sincerely and if he comes by your home "alone" to check your status, if he hugs you when you first meet again then he loves you back.
2-make a common friend think that theirs a guy who have a crush on you, let that friend talk in the group about it and wait for your friend's reaction, don't ask him for an advise,if he asks you what do you think, then he probably loves you.
good luck
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A
female
reader, SomeoneLikeYou +, writes (19 November 2012):
SomeoneLikeYou is verified as being by the original poster of the question @ FA: good advice ! where can i find this discussion ? x
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (19 November 2012):
Someone,
We had a very long discussion about this recently, and the result was, A guy in a friendly relationship is probably trying to get into a sexual relationship. If that is what you are interested in, give him a go ahead sign. Hold his hand, cuddle up, whatever is appropriate in your situation.
Stop worrying about the group dynamic. You will sacrifice a possible long term personal relationship for a transitory weak friendly group.
FA
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2012): Whoah , it feels just like a cliche story :O
no just kidding (:
It's possible to talk to a girl every day but not have feelings for her .
For example , I talk to my Bestfriends Boyfriend and we talk alot and stuff but sometimes it just doesn't work.
2. it would ruin or friendship if it doesn't work out.
- Well , yes and no . It just depends , true friends stay :)
3. 3. our group of friends wouldn't be the same if we were together.
- my other bestfriend went out with someone in our group and they broke up but they are still good friends :)
hope you figure it all out x- a girl (:
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