A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:hii have a very honest question to ask you and would like some honest opinions!i am a 21 year old girl, quite pretty with a pleasant,gentle and unique personality!at this point in my life i should be brimming with excitement, boys and nights out with friends!that is my problem none of those things are happening!i feel so low, i have no friends to speak of, since i lost all contact with my school friends! College never worked out for me and as a result i never went to uni! therefore i got stuck in a dead end job at a supermarket! i have had one boyfriend, i began going out with him at 18 and broke up with him last year, we were together two and a half yearsi still see him as a friend, he is the only true friend i have but sometimes he makes me feel like a nuisance!i feel like i have buggered up my life royally!i have achieved nothing,if i died now there would be nothing to show i had been alive!The thing i dream of is just leaving and starting again with a clean slate, i would change my name,enrol in an evening course,get a new job,get my own place amd just start again!has anyone ever done this and it worked out?the only thing stopping me is my family!they are good honest people, they love me but they hold me back in so many ways they worry to much. That is why i never went out when i was in my teens because i could never relax as i knew they would be at home waiting for me, worrying! i think i then got stuck in a rut of not going out and it became to hard to go out!i do not blame my parents, i am thier youngest child they are bound to worry about me!i just feel like this life has nothing left to offer me and i need to do this for myself but i wouldnt want my parents to know where i was, it would be a total clean slate! i've reached a dead end and i have to do something about it! I just want to fit in, ive even looked into joining a commune or something to fit in! please offer me some adviceis it possible to leave everything behind and start a new life? thankyou for your time
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male
reader, Wild Thaing  + ♥, writes (30 July 2008):
 You grow when you finally choose to step beyond your comfort zone. Any energy spent not stepping out of your comfort zone (like complaining about things you can clearly change but are afraid to do so) is a waste, a drain. If you choose to waste your energy in this way, you will suck the life out of yourself.
No one has responsibility for your choices but you. When you come to own the consequences of your choices you will see your life in a completely different light. Good luck and take care.
A
female
reader, Ask oldersister  +, writes (30 July 2008):
 Changing your name and your location won't change your work ethic or study habits! You'll still be stuck with you! Most of your comments are very passive like "the university didn't work out for me" or "I got stuck" - none of your statements indicate you being responsible. They sound like comments coming from a person that life "happens" to, not a person that creates their own destiny. I can see why you would think changing everything by moving or your name would allow you to think a new life will fall in your lap but it doesn't work that way really. Even your family "holds you back". You can run away from all that but you'll just blame your new life for doing the same thing.
Go to college where you are, quit being passive and lazy! If you don't think you can- join the military because they will force you into a productive lifestyle.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): Yes you can walk out leave it all behind, do it now before it's too late. Family? They can be replaced! Get new friends, get a haircut, change your name, walk out on the old you and reinvent yourself.... nobody else is going to do it for you.Don't listen to the psycho babble about finding your inner happiness, you are an adult if you want to change your life and begin anew then just do it.Buy an airline ticket, fly somewhere get a bar job, meet new friends find a lover and LIVE your life.You can come back one day, what's stopping you?... it should at least make for some intersting stories to tell when you are old. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Friend Tom + ♥, writes (21 July 2008):
 Oh, sweetheart, you are far too young to call yourslf or your life "buggered" or wasted. So college did not suit you,.. so what? There are other schools for practical job skills. Most of us just wind up going to work every day, no matter what kind of diploma or degree we have. But, it is good to be able to pick and choose our jobs as much as we can. You can if you get the right skills. You may feel in a "rut" now, but hon, you are so young...(sighing), You have an entire life ahead. You should be shouting joyous lyrics from the roof-tops....(smile). Ohhhh...Stay with your present job, but look for courses you can take to get some other skills. And get out and meet some people your age! And, it is difficult to start a "new life" from scratch. I suppose it may be easier for guys/blokes. I did at your age...younger,..but it was hard, and it took a long time to get where I wanted to be...and I made mistakes...I aged a lot before my time. You don't want to do that. And stay close to your family. They are very important. I gave mine much unnecessary grief. I am sorry for that now...as they are gone. I did apologize, but it just was not enough..not for me. Be strong, but be wise...best wishes,..Tom..xxx
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