A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I found out recently that I might have borderline personality disorder and dependent personality disorder. Ever since I been researching and trying to fix all the annoying parts these disorders have...And I keep coming to this question here, how is it that I'm not a slut...Now, I never was interested in slutting around. I never cheat nor am I interested in cheating.. cheating and slutting around all goes against my nature, it's just not in there. So i find myself wondering, Is it possible to have borderline personality yet lack the urge to be a slut and cheater??? Because everywhere I study this I've found mostly everyone treating those with this disorder badly and labeling them all has sluts and cheaters.. yet I'm totally the opposite of all that, I lack the abilities to be a slut and cheater type of person. I see nothing wrong with that of course. I do however hate seeing all this bashing. I'm not messed up in that kind way Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2016): I wrote a reply to all your questions.. however it doesn't state that I'm the original poster. I'm trying to let you know that is me that anonymous answer!
A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (3 December 2016):
 YES it is possible not to have ALL symptoms of BPD.
When it comes to any website diagnosis there is further reading of other contributing factors to consider; genetics – hereditary family illness, environment and social – exposed to hostility or not, brain factors – the area that control impulses. All of which require further examination to confirm or rule out a particular illness.
Even when 8-9 symptoms out of 10 present themselves of one condition (BPD), there can also be overlapping symptoms of another disorder which all need to be ruled out for proper treatment by a Professional.
Simply put it's like reading your Star Sign (BPD) then noticing not everything they describe is correct (Cheating). That’s because after further reading and understanding we are also products of our past and present influences; our family history, environment etc.
IF for example your environment changed to socialising with unsavoury people 24/7 or substance abuse was introduced the impulse for reckless behaviour unprotected sex, cheating might then manifest itself? Again it’s not always the case.
Using the tools provided on the Internet for Self-diagnosis can be useful as a starting point into taking the next step – seeking Professional diagnosis and treatment.
Take Care – CAA
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2016): I've been going to therapy for many year's. Yet this was only recently brought up by the therapist and doctors ( having both borderline and dependent personality disorder.. I've left a abusive relationship I was in for many many years. I didn't know it was abusive because I was blaming myself for everything that went wrong because I knew of my server abandonment issue's. Toward the end of this relationship we found out he has the same disorder's,I'm said to possibly have. he gave in toward the end and got into therapy himself..my main problem is clinging behaviors that are out of this world.And bad paranoid thinking centered around loved ones leaving which then causes both clinging and pushing away behaviors. And real fast changing emotions that are triggered easily. But I'm still not ever just a asshole. I don't get angry and physically hurt people. I don't hurt anyone period...I hurt myself instead,as I always have..Now in therapy what I was doing was trying to stop me from pulling his trigger all those year's...I knew all along I had abandonment issue's that ran my life but didn't know it was actually a personality disorder. :( We can't fix a problem not knowing what is causing all the problems. This goes for both partner's in a relationship.. I took it all in and blamed myself all those years, I never Even tried to get him to take responsibility for his part. Because I loved him I suffered from self sacrificing behaviors that helped in the demise of the relationship as well.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2016): I think the best thing you can do is find a qualified therapist to evaluate you. I hope this isn't a self-diagnosis. People go on the internet and assign symptoms to themselves coming up with their own diagnosis; because they think they have all the symptoms they've read about.
Only a specialist who has experience in diagnosing such a condition can evaluate, diagnose, and treat BPD; if that is what you have. If you keep reading about medical and mental disorders on you own; you will assume you have several different mental-illnesses at once. Some conditions share the same symptoms, but are totally different medical disorders. Even treatment may differ.
If you didn't get a professional opinion, you don't know whether you have BPD or not.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2016): But then again you might not have BPD.
Who diagnosed it for you?
You may be any of many things but no one has the right to moralistically prejudge your sexual behaviour.
How you do or dont behave with your partner is entirely your own business.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (3 December 2016):
CindyCares has given you a very good answer. BPD is characterised, as far as I understand it, by extremes of emotions. Everything is all good or all bad; a person is either the best friend in the world or the worst person imaginable. Such extremes can lead to promiscuous behaviour, but it isn’t inevitable. Having BPD doesn’t change the fact that you have your own sense of morality or likes and dislikes.
Mental health conditions vary in severity and not every person gets every symptom. Symptom lists aid in the diagnosis and identification of a potential problem, but you’ve not got to tick every box to have the condition.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 December 2016):
 Of course it is possible. In fact, if all your research points to BPD = slutting around and cheating... maybe you have been researching in the wrong places .
It is true that two of the most commen symptoms of BPD are "severe impulsivity " and " unstable , chaotic personal relationships ".
This does not mean though that an individual with BPD cannot have his/her own set of personal values and ethical codes. If yours is strongly against sexual promiscuity, you'll probably manifets impulsivity in other spheres of your life, like reckless money management. Or changing lots of jobs for no good reason. Or any other impulsive decision which does not clash ,though, against your core beliefs , in this case about sex and relationships.
And " unstable relationships " does not necessarily mean " cheating ": one can have an unstable, ups and downs, drama loaded, relationship - with the same partner for 20 or 30 years ( supposing that the partner has the patience of a saint... ) Or,he/she can be a serial monogamist, which is not the same as " slutting around " and would exclude cheating.
HOW did you find out that you may have BPD and dependant personality disorder ? Have you been professionally diagnosed ? ...
If you got it out of something you read on the web, or some " personality " tests, I would be careful about taking what you read so literally. It's very much hit-or-miss. You may find reliable scientific information, at times, and many,many other times, it's like reading a medical encyclopedia : do it, and for sure you will find out that you have ALL the symptoms of SEVERAL rare, fatal diseases....
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