A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:is it possible to fall back in love again, when fallen out of love whatever the circumstances? is there any hope at all? i would really appreciate the advice, or and comments, thanks. Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Code Warrior + ♥, writes (19 October 2009):
 The "in love" thing is more of a chemical reaction/high than anything else. That is nearly impossible to recapture and is really not a good place to be anyway.
When you are under the influence of being "in-love" you generally see them in an unrealistic way and nobody can tell you anything different. You think about them all the time, sometimes to the point of getting yourself in trouble at work or school due to poor performance. It can really cloud your judgement and is not a good state of mind to be in when making life altering decisions. A LOT of marriages fail because they were so "in-love" they ignored fundamental flaws that doomed it from the start.
Becuase the high is so great, the low you get when falling out of love is like chemical withdrawal and it leads to an exaggerated bad feeling. They go from being able to do no wrong to being able to do no right. The truth is somewhere in the middle.
However, there is hope. You may not be able to fall "in-love" again, but you can love him again. The key is to love unconditionally without expecting anything in return. I know it sounds like you are doing all the giving, but that is the reason that it works.
Love is about giving unconditionally, not taking. When we start demanding, love is usually the first casualty.
That being said, love needs to be reciprocated. You deserve to feel loved too. However, you can't demand to be loved. It has to be freely given without conditions.
Sometimes though, we just cannot get it back no matter what we do. At least you can have a clear consicence knowing that you tried.
I hope this helps.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009): yes its possible! jsut have to give it time and things will work out, live in the moment :)
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