A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi, i have a question that is too awkward to ask anybody that i know. it involves me and my bestfriend. we are both girls, 15 years old and have been best friends since we were small. some in our family say we are cousins, but we aren't really. we both think of ourselves as straight and into boys. we both date, but are not having sex and prefer to wait.a little while ago at a sleep-over at my house we got talking. we both admitted that we get really horny sometimes and masturbate. we ended up masturbating together. since then we have done this several more times, but not every time that we're together. recently we started helping eachother masturbate. like touching, rubbing and sometimes fingering eachother. we do not make out or anything like that. we are not "in love" with eachother, but love eachother as best friends.my question is---- is this bad for us? have we crossed some line that we shouldn't of? is it possible that we could end up bi or lesbians if we keep doing this? i'd especially like to hear from other girls or women who have gone through this, or knows someone who has. i'm thinking about sharing the answers with my friend because she has some worries too. thank you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): I have had a similar experiance with my cousin when i was young. When we were teenagers at a sleep-over we started feeling each others bodies and found it sexually satisfying. We did it a couple of times but never discussed it at other times since we were both embarrassed by what we did. All the while we had very good relationships with guys and eventually settled for seriouse relationship with guys and were completely happy with our sex lives. Any of this didn't make any one of us lesbian. Once even when we were in our early twenties, while she was visiting me and sleeping over, she started feeling my body while we were discussing about sex with our respective b/f s. She evn confessed that the female body turns her on. That time I didn't try to feel her up as i though i will be cheating my bf if i did. But I let her feel me up and suck my boobs. She made me orgasm by fingering that time and it was very pleasurable. Since then we haven't done any of that and i don't think we ever will. I suppose that time we were both very curiose about sex and thats all it was. So, i guess you will come out of this very soon. Just don't do anything if you feel uncomfortable. And think more about guys and talk of your feelings about guys with your friend. You will not turn in to lesbians. I know i didn't! :) so don't worry.
A
female
reader, aunty_rach  +, writes (28 October 2008):
ok first of all i would like to say, no one just "turns into a lesbian or gay" thats a stupid thing to say! some people are so ignorant!
also it seems like it is bothering you, so maybe you need to talk to your friend and ask eachother if this is really what you want, to get together as friends and masturbate. i've never got with any of my friends and masturbated with them, as i would see it as crossing boundaries and i'd rather have fun with a guy. but then thats my age, you are still young teens with lots of hormones racing around your bodies. it's probably curiosity and experimental, plus it seems to be turning you on and by the sounds of it you both have not had experiences with boys yet, so being together and doing sexual activities together is what, is turning you on. all i can say is make sure your friendship will not suffer and if you are starting to think it;s wierd, uncomfy,etc..then stop. maybe just tell eachother about your fantasies or talk about how you feel.
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A
male
reader, previasc96 +, writes (28 October 2008):
You shouldn't risk your friendship. Things might get awkard between you two and then your close friendship will go down the drain. I cannot say if you will become lesbians or not. girls are know to often fool around playfully touching in a sexual manner (most of the time they're doing it to tease guys). The more you associate being aroused and pleasured with you friend giving you the pleasure, the more you will get into it and become dependant on it to be satisfied. Do you really want that to happen?
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (24 October 2008):
That last answer is a load of rubbish.
Nothing you do will TURN you bi or lesbian. At your age it's perfectly normal to be curious about your sexuality.
If you are enjoying it then there is nothing wrong with it.
You may go off it in another 6 months.
Don't worry about it.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008): Yes it is probally possible
if your getting used to you both doing it then you will keep wanting it and will start to want it more and more intil you turn lez.
dont worry might not be the case.
but i have been through this but not as much as you my story:
at a sleepover like you me and a mate was messing about playing hospital and we used to pretend to be pregnant and we both used to feel around each other and rub and touch and the boob area.
but you start to realise it is very wrong she was my mate and it was going to ruin our friendship and it got very wrong. now i have a boyfriend and it so much better .
but if you know your just friends and are happy about masterbating together its fine its healthy and normal but if your not liking doing it to her stick with yourself because if you dont want to turn lez or anything its best to stay to yourself.
but if your enjoying it carry on but try to always remeber you not a lez you just like it now and then.
sorry if this dont make sense i tryed to explain it as much as i could.
but if you have a big think about it
you , Your best friend since you was small?
touching each other?
its bit wrong. and in my opion stick to boys :]
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