A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Could it be possible for a black girl and a white guy to have a succesful relationship? Or is the cultural differences too much? I'm an African American girl and i've being thinking of going out with this guy i'm in college with but i've asked a couple of my friends this question and they've all had negative responses so now i'm putting it out there.(hes also interested in me too) Just asking for your thoughts on this.Thanks! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (11 February 2012):
 Well, my parents have been married for 25 years and they're Black/White. I'm married now to a white fella, and it's been great.
It's not about your skin color. It's about who you are, whether you're compatible and whether he makes you happy, comfortable and you have a nice time with them. Cultural differences are one thing (two same-raced folks can be from completely different cultures and just not be compatible), but racial differences mean squat.
Yes, it's completely possible for any relationship to be successful, provided both people care about each other, treat each other well and have mutual respect. And none of those things are dependent on skin tone!
Good luck!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2012): Of course they can be successful! Actually all of my best relationships have been with people of different ethnic backgrounds than myself. The most important thing to remember to ask yourself in any relationship is "Do I feel good when I am around this person?" If the answer is yes, then you know you have the most important thing in a relationship. That said there are times when things can be difficult in an interracial relationship, but whether that is a good thing or bad thing is up to you. If it's a source of stress for you, then that's not good for you both. If you come to feel that it's an opportunity to embrace something different from your background but is part of the person that you care about then you'll be just fine. You guys don't have to be exactly the same, you just have to appreciate the things you have in common AND the things that make you different to be successful. In a successful relationship different isn't bad, it's just interesting or something that enriches your life because you wouldn't have found it on your own.
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A
male
reader, Deathbunny +, writes (11 February 2012):
Want some irony?If you look at divorce statistics by race, almost every combination of interracial marriage AND African-American/African-American marriages have a much higher divorce rate than white American/white American marriages......Except white male/African-American female marriages that have--historically--had about a 40% LOWER risk of divorce than white/white marriages.Admittedly, fewer African-American women are married to white men, but it's an interesting fact. The research article is here:http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1741-3729.2008.00491.x/pdfSo, the good news is, if you two hit it off and got as far as marrying, your marriage has a lot better odds. The fact you are both in college, probably headed for similar socio-economic statuses, etc. also helps your chances.So, is it possible for an interracial relationship to be successful? Yes, even more likely long term in your case...
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (11 February 2012):
 Anyone who replies to this and tells you that there's any reason NOT to make your interest known to this guy... is an A*S!!!!
C'mon.... this isn't the 1800's!!!!!!!
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (11 February 2012):
 Hi, How strong a person are you and your friend? Are you swayed as one of the posters stated, by the things that others may say about the relationship? If two people are srong enough to withstand the looks you may get, the things people msy say, then you could work through the challenges that an interracial relationship will possibly pose. If you really love a person and are going to stick with them, regardless of what comes your way, then go for it. People of the same race have problems, and separate. You would have an extra layer. Decide if you have a strong enough character and love for this individual and then make your decision. Many people are in committed, loving, long-term interracial relationships. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2012): Every person who dates someone has their friends vet their prospective mate to some degree. It's really up to you to discern if their view points are really worth taking into account and how much you let their opinions influence your personal life. You would be dating him, not your friends, right?
If your friend's had a problem because he was a drunk...that would be one thing, but to have a negative reaction simply because he's white sounds immature to me.
I'm a product of such a similar relationship and my parents are still married 35 years later...
Honestly, you might have it a little tougher because you'll likely alienate your friends (my parents alienated many of their friends and family members by deciding to marry).
But I would like to think that the best relationships occur when people date for the quality of the relationship, not to impress their peers. Why not give it a try?
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (11 February 2012):
 This also a type of racism, thinking that only someone with the same skin colour is good enough for you. I can't think of one reason why you can't date him, apart from other people with too much time on their hands telling you what to do.He has a head, two eyes, arms and legs, apart from the fact that they are white, what is the difference? There may be some cultural differences, based on the way you were brought up, but if you like each other and want to get to know each other, I can't see this holding you apart.I know this is a problem in black communities, I've faced it myself. But now I am a lot older, I can see that listening to the nonsense that friends like to tell you, hold's you back in life. You will be dating him, not them, and unless he beats women or steals and lies, what sensible reason do they have to give that makes you want to turn down a nice guy that you like.
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A
female
reader, Phunky  +, writes (11 February 2012):
 my Cousin is married with an african american my best friend he is african american and is engaged to my asian friend my neigbours 40 year aniversary are black and white and have good raised childeren ;)
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (11 February 2012):
 Of course it can. If you guys want to be together, what's stopping you? Give it a chance and see what happens.
Good luck.
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