A
male
age
51-59,
*till questioning...
writes:I am a bi-sexual guy. I am 38 y/o today. I met a 22 y/o guy several month's ago. He was a student of mine, he no longer is but he has kept in-touch with me. Even more recently, we seem to be spending a fair amount of time together and we are constantly text messaging each other everyday, all day long. He doesn't know that I am bi for certain, I'm not exactly "out" yet. He is an extremely mature 22 y/o and a very sweet guy. He does not have a girlfriend and has been on numerous dates since I have known him. The point I am trying to make is that he is really quite a catch! As I said, we text asnd talk on the phone daily, he even comes to my job(s) and spends time hanging-out with me. Now keep in mind that he is interested in entering the field(s) that I work in. Our texts always seem to end-up being very flirtatious mutually but neither of us has actually approached the subject of homosexuality or sex with each other. I truly believe that there is something between us but both of us are too afraid to approach the other about it. I also am a realist, and realize that it may just be "wishful thinking" on my part, he is 22 and I am 38.... How do I know for certain if this guy is bi or gay and is it possible for a 22 y/o 6'3" gorgeous Italian boy to be interested in a 38 y/o cauc. guy?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (18 June 2008):
 Hi, sorry for being a bit harsh on this one, but, you're 38 years old and you're not 'out' yet? Bear with me. I have number of gay friends, they came out anywhere between 18 and late 20s. But 38? Not so good.
Is it that you're hiding your sexual preference due to concerns about work and career issues? That I could understand. Really, I do. And if you're truly bi, then why risk a good career over something that is only 50% of your life? That is a legitimate concern.
And frankly, what your sexuality is shouldn't be an issue at work or at home. As long as you're not married. Then you've made a commitment to someone, and she deserves to know the truth.
If you're single, well then, back to the advice.
He was your student. He is not now. So there should be no conflict of interest there.
You said he'd been out on dates. With women? Or men? Duh, it must be women, otherwise you wouldn't be worried about his orientation.
Tricky one, he could 'out' you at work. Right?
So lie back, let him make a move. But don't expect too much. It may just be one guy flirting and not realizing that it's being taken seriously.
Let me ask one of my good friends about this and get back to you.
Take care.
A
female
reader, peace-and-love  +, writes (18 June 2008):
happy birthday :P
i would just ask. don't pressurise him or show outwardly your disappointment if he's not, but if he's flirting with you perhaps he is interested.
There's nothing wrong with thinking he might be interested in you :P try asking him out and make it clear you want it to be a date, and then if he says no you know where you stand, and if he says yes take it from there... good luck :)
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