A
female
age
30-35,
*arda1
writes:I have a really unique situation here. I met this guy more than one year ago on the internet. We were pen pals and wrote back and forth for over 6 months. I was traveling to NYC and we decided to meet for the first time there: best day ever. Two weeks later, I decided to meet him in Connecticut to spend one weekend together and though he loved me as much I did. When I got there, I told him that Saturday night that I thought I was in love with him. What he told me was that he couldn't offer us a future together anytime soon and there were things in his life I didn't knew. I told him it was O.K but it broke my heart. We didn't had sex but we messed around. It is important to mention here that I was alone at that moment (I reside outside U.S and I was in the process of moving alone to U.S and making and international transfer to another university). I am Peruvian/American and he is American. I had no family at that time and was so scared and alone that I used to text him all the time. Some months went by and I got into college. Since I got in, I got my mind really busy and I am now about to graduate. Even if I wanted to lose my virginity to him, I didn't. Sadly, I was so heartbroken that as soon as I got to college and met another guy that thought was interested in me, I lost my virginity to him.. that also crushed me.Now, more than a year passed and I eliminated him from facebook, Hotmail, twitter, etc for my own sake and in order to move on. However, I have my heart crushed and I never forgot him. I am sure he was the love of my life and maybe the fact we were too young ruined things. Would it be ok if I sent him an email again explaining all this and saying I never forgot him and want to be friends? I really think my soul would be in peace and even if he doesn't reply, I don't lose anything and I could tell him how I feel... any suggestions? I don't know even how to reconnect again with someone over more than one year...Please, I really need an honest opinion.
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crush, facebook, heartbroken, lost my virginity, move on, text, the internet, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Got Issues  +, writes (11 June 2013):
 Don't do it. It won't help and it will only prolong your pain. The fact that you are thinking about him and hurting after all this time is NOT indicative of him being the love of your life, especially because of your age range. Hopefully you will have lots more love in your life. It would be very sad if a person who turned you down and hasn't been in touch was the love of your life. Stay busy.
A
female
reader, narda1 +, writes (11 June 2013):
narda1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMore information: The last time we wrote each other (October of last year) he was really polite and replied me back! (on facebook).. despite i thought he wasn't going to reply. Also, the one that eliminated him from every social site was me, not him. What bothers me is.. what would have happened if I didn't? What if when he saw that understood I was the one that didn't wanted to talk/have contact with him again and for that reason he never wrote me again?
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A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (11 June 2013):
No don't do it! It is only going to hurt you. You are prolonging the end. It is over and for you to get a healthy balanced life YOU NEED TO MOVE ON!
I'm sorry you have these feelings and he doesn't
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (11 June 2013):
 Contacting is not going to make you feel better. If he wanted to stay in touch or felt the same way about you, he would have reached out to you. Remember you expressed your feelings and he was polite by telling you it will not work out. Honey, just let it go and dont hold onto this dream because you will ruin your life. Its just not healthy.
Sometimes we want everything to work out the way we imagine, but life throws us different curve balls and we need to manage it no matter how difficult or how hard it is. As long as you hold on to the past, you will never be able to love let alone let anyone get close to you to feel loved and have it resiprocated.
Start from today, enjoying life and keeping busy, think less about him and focus on what you have and whats around you.
I promise you if you call and he rejects you again, you will feel worst off and he does not answer your call , you will become more obsessive in contacting her. Let it go, dont do this to yourself, you deserve a lot better.
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A
female
reader, Queen_mermaid  +, writes (11 June 2013):
You are right. Trying to reconnect things with him even if you get a refusal won't make you lose anything. Its worth a try definitely.
But, in this 1 year, exactly how so many thing happened to you, that might be the case for him as well. 1 year can changed many things. Maybe he could have get rid of all those things that would prevent you guys to have a future together or maybe he has find someone else. Or maybe after you telling him all the truth ; like you've gone out with someone else during this one year and lost your virginity to him can piss him off! So be prepare for anything. I am telling you all this so that you don't keep much hopes to his reply.
Nevertheless i would advise you to mail him!!! A try is never that bad!
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