A
female
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:I'm a really quiet person...and I like weekends to be spent all by myself, in my room..doing homework or reading a book. Or going to the gym. That's how I am. I go out with friends sometimes...but not often. And I don't have a huge group like most people. Instead, I branch out and have several friends from different "groups" of people. I don't get jealous when I see my best friends hanging out with groups. But I do begin feeling like a loser. But it doesn't BOTHER me that I'm like this. So should I feel like one? How many of you out there go out every single day and party or something? Is it normal to want solitude and rest from social interactions? I'd just hate to think what my friends think of me...many of them are slipping away because they're joining different groups. Nobody really asks me to hang out...apart from those who are really, very close.Is this normal? Thank you in advance :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2008): HiYou sound great, and you are just been true to yourself, nothing wrong with that. I am sure your freinds have a lot of respect for you. We are all uniquue and like different things and that is what makes the world an interesting place.
A
female
reader, pepper27  + ♥, writes (5 October 2008):
 Hi sweetheart
You can be who you choose to be and do what makes you happy, It means that you are a confident person who is happy in your own company. What others think shouldnt worry you love as if they are real friends they will accept you for who you are. You are not a loser for not doing things that you dont want to do or just doing things to keep in with other people, You are your own person with your own path hunny and if it feels right and good to you then thats nothing to worry about..TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, anon642 + ♥, writes (5 October 2008):
 Don't start questioning yourself. If you are happy doing these things then don't feel like you are a loser and that you won't be seen as normal unless you interact more in going to social interactions.
Being 18, i can legally go to a club and drink alcohol, however, all of my friends enjoy doing this every weekend. On the other hand, I don't.
I don't enjoy drinking alcohol, i prefer to just drink it on an occasion such as birthdays and christmas etc. However my friends are happy to buy a bottle of something and drink it any night of the week.
That does not mean that i am a loser, its just what i prefer, and sometimes my friends dont understand that.
I also, similarly to you, dont enjoy going out that much. I like my time to myself. Something else that my friends dont do.
But what i find works, is that (having facebook) i send them a message every now and again just asking how they are and what they've been up too. And sometimes if they have any news.
Just messages back and forth like this allow you to keep in contact with them, and still know the latest so when you do decide to go out, at least you can refer to something without thinking, what on earth are they on about.
Everybody's different. Your friends should respect your wishes, but like i said, dont question your happiness.
Nobody is normal, there is no normal.
There are majorities, and minorities, me and you probably fit into the minority of having time to ourself and only going out every now and again, but so what? If we're happy, so everyone else should be!
All the best :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2008): I see nothing wrong with it...I am the same way.
I prefer to be alone, and I'd rather take a Friday evening for a walk in the woods, alone, then get drunk and make a fool out of myself with others.
The only thing I would say is this: if you are happy being alone, then stick with it, since you are happy. However, If you feel depressed about being alone, then try to change your ways (sorry, you are a little unclear about whether you are happy or not being alone).
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A
female
reader, anon642 + ♥, writes (5 October 2008):
Don't start questioning yourself. If you are happy doing these things then don't feel like you are a loser and that you won't be seen as normal unless you interact more in going to social interactions.
Being 18, i can legally go to a club and drink alcohol, however, all of my friends enjoy doing this every weekend. On the other hand, I don't.
I
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2008): Seeing that you are only a teenager.....I think its quite "normal" to want solitude and be a "non-purpetual" party goer....you might be setting the tone at your age for your whole life. There is nothing wrong with being quieter and less interactive with people. Most of the people I know that have become needy for others attention over the years are people who should have taken the time to listen to their inner feelings and needs while growing up. Its important to "love yourself" and "enjoy your own company" as much as its important to have a great circle of friends and family who accept you for who you are. Quiet, reserved, less interactive or otherwise.
Enjoy your life one day at a time on your own terms. As far as I can see....as long as you are not hurting or rejecting people and they know you like or love them its no sin to do your own thing.
Hope my personal opinion was helpful to you.
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