A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Is it normal to want anal sex with my wife, she's got a lovely arse and she's the only person I want it with, we have been together for 20 + years and have a fantastic sex life, I'm just wondering if my penis would be too big for her, it's 6 ins but quite thick
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anal sex, my penis, sex life Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2013): Its normal nowadays, because nowadays all is normal.
To have anal sex for most women is not pleasant. I had it few times in a past, and all I thought how it makes me want to poop. I was bleeding from there after. I talked to many women about it, and only one said that she doesn't mind but she doesn't like it.the rest said they hated the process. And now you make yur own conclusions.
A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker  +, writes (23 March 2013):
 Well it's normal to want it, but it would be just as normal for her not to want to. Most women don't, except in the high-fantasy world of porn, where they are essentially acting.
Try to have a conversation about it, and if she isn't interested don't bring it up again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2013): You're here asking if this is normal because she's said no way no how ever to anal sex and you want some backup. Problem is that she doesn't want anything to do with it because it's something that men do when they want domination. Take a look at what a longtime poster here said about anal sex: "become 100% selfish in bed, pound her rough, have my fun and ditch her when I'm done, try and get some anal, a few facials anything I can do to exert utter sexual domination and degradation over her." It's a power issue. She said no and she means it. It may be normal to want to degrade her but it's equally normal for her not to want to be degraded. It's unworthy of you to try to get strangers to force her to do something she doesn't want to do.
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female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (22 March 2013):
 Jeez AuntyEm, chill out a bit, the guy was asking a valid question! I'm female and really enjoy anal sex, it's quite the oppoite of painful when done correctly.
OP talk to your wife about it, if you've been married for 20 years, isn't it the type of thing you should be able to talk openly about? If she says no, she means NO, not maybe, not ask again later. If she says "I'll think about it" Leave her to think about it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2013): With all due respect AuntyEm experimenting with a dildo is not going to put him off, done right it'll probably make him want it more. Having a prostate means anal sex is very enjoyable for us guys in ways it's just not for women. A prostate orgasm is awesome.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (22 March 2013):
 As the official Keeper of the DC Manual, and from extensive research, sort of, I can recommend a product if you and your wife do indeed decide to dive into the realm of poo poo sex. Two Words: Butt Plugs. When inserted correctly and worn frequently they stretch the anus to make anal sex slightly more comfortable. However after 20+ years of marriage, your wife is most likely of the age where stretching anything is the last thing she wants to do.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2013): Your relationship and your sex life can't be that great. You've been together over 20 yrs and you can't have a conversation about this? She'd have asked for it up the arse by now if she was into the idea.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2013): It may be normal but some woman may find it a turn off - I would, it has no appeal at all. Also many woman suffer from recurrent cystitus and the risks of transferring bacteria are high - so it would not be an appealing thought. But each to his own.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 March 2013):
 I think it’s perfectly normal to want it. Have you asked her how she feels about it? She may be willing to try it but there are techniques to doing it to make sure it works well and it takes time and patience and both partners have to be willing to try.
IF she says NO… NEVER EVER bring it up again.
If she says yes... I have tips and techniques that I can advise you on
IF she says MAYBE... get a nice strap on for her to try it with you... then I'll give you the same tips and techniques for you two to learn it with her being the top and you receiving...
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (22 March 2013):
 Go to a sex shop, buy yourself a dildo that looks similar you your own penis and some lube...go home. Have a play around and try the dildo up your own anus...this should give you some idea how much pain you will be putting your wife through. Remember that women's anus' are slightly smaller and more sensitive you you probably have to imagine a bit more stinging and burning than you can feel with your own anus.
Make a note of if this is pleasurable or not. Also try to find out if she had a third degree tear in childbirth...this is really important as their will be scar tissue that could be split open and if this happens she may require surgery to put it back together.
I always think it's wise to try something yourself first before trying it on someone else...then it's fair isn't it?
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A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (22 March 2013):
 I think alot of men are curious about it. I'd say it was normal. You really need to talk to your wife though, many women don't even want to try anal sex and those that do not all of them like it or want to try it again. Talk to your wife and find out what her feelings are.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2013): "Is it normal to want anal sex with my wife"
Yeah of course it is. The anus is a hole, penises go in holes, it's as normal as wanting to put it in her mouth.
Two words of advice, empty bowels and lube, lots of lube.
Look it's designed for passing soft stools, it's not like the vagina where it will expand naturally. The best way to know if you'll fit is the finger test.
All of the above requires her explicit consent, cooperation and participation of course.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 March 2013):
 It seems to be almost expected in porn. I expect many people find it something they want to try at one point or another.
I guess the person to talk to about it would be your wife. Does she want to try it or not?
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female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (22 March 2013):
 HI
I'm guessing this has never happened in your relationship before, which leads me to believe your wife wouldn't see it as normal. However if you have spoken to your wife about it and she is willing to try, then I suggest using a small sex toy first so she will know if the feeling of something there would make her feel uncomfortable or not. It's not everyones cup of tea but some women enjoy it. Me personally would find it nasty and quite degrading as a woman, and it is suggested that it's caused many people to start suffering with I.B.S irritable bowel syndrome. So I would concider this before going ahoead with it. If your sex life has been great why upset the applecart?..
Mandy x
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female
reader, Rosy2011 +, writes (21 March 2013):
That's totally normal. Lots more people are talking about it and trying it now so why not suggest it? She might not like the idea or want to try it but it's worth suggesting, she definitely shouldn't be offended or think it's not "normal". If you do I don't think you'll find many people who are "too big" but it will probably hurt, it does have to stretch a lot - just loads of lube and go slow.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (21 March 2013):
 The question is not if it is normal for YOU to want it, the question is, DOES SHE?
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (21 March 2013):
 lol well i don't really know the size of your wife's butt hole, so there's really no way to say. i mean that with much love, lol. the only way one could know for certain if it was too big would be to try.
as for is it normal? sure, why not? lots of people do it. it's not weird. and plus, i'm sure she'd be flattered if you explained it to her in the way you explained it here. however, if she turns it down, don't be offended. it's just more enjoyable for the men, not always for the women.
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