A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 35 and consider myself attractive. I am witty, charming and smart. So I don't understand why my husband will not have sex with me. I am not a boring lay if you will. After a few separations I had lovers which i enjoyed and vice versa. For years I have noticed that his porn cache included Trannys and women alike. Questioned him about it and its always "you are crazy", "Why are you going thru my stuff", but i dismissed it as him needing something more, he is extremely intelligent, masculine, avid hunter, man of a million manly hobbies. Our sex life is a joke. When i leave he masturbates to tranny porn and acts all innocent when i come home. He will receive oral sex and ignore me completely. Maybe when he is drunk we will have sex at an average of once every 3-4 months. Am i stupid? We have a kid and been together for 15 years. He loves me i know this but he prefers to holler at girls on tv and masturbate to tranny flix before touching me. What do I do? My silence is destroying me and I do not feel like a woman anylonger.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2010): Here's the raw truth. A window into the psyche if you will. I used to be totally hooked on transsexual porn. The odd thing, I remember being young and drawing a dick on a female stick figure and my mom scolding me for it! Lol. Later, in my teens I saw some ads in porn mags for transsexual phone sex and I masturbated to those. Even then, I was still masturbating to pictures and thoughts of women as well. When I had my first sex experience and relationship I threw out all my porn and only watched the odd porn with her. I was cheated on, and in my twenties I went through a bit of depression. This is when I started watching plenty of tranny porn and being extra kinky with myself. I even experimented with gay porn and it just didn't do it for me unless the fantasy was screwing a very feminine looking young male. If I had to put percentages to what my fantasies are: 1% gay sex with feminine looking guys, 10% with young women (late teen - 30s), 30% mature women, and the rest transsexual porn in whatever incarnation. It's quite confusing as I'd fantasize topping and be topped by a transsexual, even the not so pretty ones. the ideas of sucking on a cock etc is quite gay in itself, and I like this aspect of it. It sounds strange but I don't get aroused by gay men though. I'm considered quite masculine and usually strive to be top of the pack.
Ultimately, I love the female form and mind. My appreciation, lust and love for women has grown as I have matured and become more masculine. I'm in a relationship and have been quite open with my fantasies. I am much more confident in myself in all ways, and I know I have become more attractive over the years. I still fantasize and masturbate to transsexual porn, but much less. The trick, so to speak is to not feel guilty and at the same time obsess over it. That turns it into a fetish. After a while I started watching non-porn videos of some transsexual woman, and it won my heart over in a good way. Many transsexuals are truly women in my mind. I believe there is scientific evidence to show that their brains are in fact much closer to women than are non transgender men. I came to appreciate transsexual people on an emotional level and it changed the way I looked at them. For a myriad of reason, they were at one time just sex objects where women were friends. I'm more balanced now, especially with my relationship towards women. I have sex with my gf 1-4 per week, and she has turned me on in ways I didn't imagine. Plus, she is very feminine and I can't get enough of holding her and being romantically close with her.
You may be wondering what your boyfriend thinks. Be honest with him, and most of all try to be understanding. If you guys had a genuine spark, you can have it again. Feel free to share my story with him. It can be isolating for many men who have this sexuality as there is no support or reference for them outside of commercialized porn (though some of the transsexual porn stars are quite educated and run their own forums where men can talk to each other).
You deserve love, don't doubt yourself. It will work out for both of you as you open up to each other.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2010): get yourself a lover who will enjoy sex with you
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (24 July 2010):
 I don't know if this helps but my wife of 46 years won't have sex anymore either. She "got relion" or something about 10 years ago. There are thousands of couples like us(Check out "The experience Project if you don't believe me) At last count I saw 11,000 plus of members on the "I live in a sexless marriage" club
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